Last week, I watched Beauty and the Beast (2017) and loved it so much that I decided to broadcast my thoughts to the world in the shape of a two-part CF article. Today, I’m picking up where Part 1 left off, with Belle’s swift departure from Beast’s castle.
PART 2 STARTS HERE:
1. Holy cow, are these wolves the same genetically mutated mutts from the 74th annual Hunger Games? They’re HUGE.
2. But you know what’s even bigger? The Beast 😉
3. Awww Belle asking Beast to help her by getting up onto the horse is actually really sweet. I’m almost forgetting the fact that he’s a buffalo. (Not.)
4. Can we talk about how strong and direct Belle is? “I need you to get up for me.” She’s not afraid to give commands and I love her so much for it.
5. Really glad nobody responded when Belle asked if there was anything she could do to help break the spell. That would have been hella awkward.
6. OMG THE LIBRARY YES!!! Belle choking back tears after the Beast tells her she can have it is literally all of us.
7. This is like that scene in Pride and Prejudice where Elizabeth Bennet walks into Darcy’s home and she’s like “Ooooooh Darcy, I’m beginning to finally see how hot and desirable you were all this time now that I’ve seen your gorgeous country estate.” Except Darcy wasn’t a buffalo.*
8. So we’ve learned never to get into a snowball fight with the Beast because he WILL knock you out. And with like zero remorse, too!
9. “New and a bit alarming.” I should certainly hope so, Belle.
10. *Since I was a bit confused about what kind of animal Beast was because everyone calls him a buffalo, I looked it up. For the record, the Beast is officially a hybrid creature with the mane of a lion, the beard and head of a buffalo, the brow of a gorilla, the tusks of a wild boar, the body of a bear, and the legs and tail of a wolf. Oh, and really handsome blue eyes. Fine eyes, I’d say.
11. OK, but Belle’s tastes are kind of basic. Romeo and Juliet? You’d think she’d love Hamlet more, seeing as how something is rotten in Beast’s castle.
12. Gaston is a douche.
13. But “Gaston” (the song) is great! Josh Gad as LeFou is so campy and cartoonish and lovable. And he looks JUST like Jack Black — I’m not the only person who sees it, right?
14. “I just remembered I’m illiterate and never had to spell it out (Gaston) before.” DYING.
15. Speaking of death, I can’t quite remember if this scene happens before or after the ballroom scene, but we actually find out that Belle’s mother died from the plague when she was a baby! Also, Beast owns a magical book that can take you anywhere you want to go and I really, really want it.
16. And Belle’s dress is stunning! I want it more than I can tell.
17. Why can’t everyone see how twisted and dark Gaston really is?
18. That guy who smiled when Madame Garderobe fought back against the villagers and clothed the men in dresses! Him and LeFou! I’m calling it.*
19. Hahaha, goodbye, Gaston.
20. DON’T DIE ON ME, BEAST. I was just getting used to your buffalo-ness.
21. Post-transformation live-action Beast is way hotter than the cartoon one. Dan Stevens is wickedly attractive. I’m pinning him to my screen cuties Pinterest board!
22. There’s a Mr. Potts (from the village)! And they’re reunited! I’m so happy.
23. Belle just asked Beast if he’d consider growing a beard and I feel like crawling back into my seat.
You’re not supposed to ever reference being sexually attracted to a buffalo man, Belle!! That’s, like, the number one rule of falling in love with a buffalo man.
24. I called it!*
25. I love happy endings :’)
Are you a fan of Disney’s live-action Beauty and the Beast? What do you think of the songs and expanded character histories? What was your favorite scene in the movie? (Mine was definitely when the Beast transforms!)