Don’t get it twisted – apologizing is a good thing that mature, considerate, and sensitive humans do. Ask Amy Poehler. She’s all about apologizing. But we should only be apologizing when we’ve done something wrong or hurt someone.
The problem is, a lot of us ladies have been socialized to apologize for parts of who we are because they don’t meet societal expectations. That is silly. Stop that. And don’t apologize for it. You are a magical, beautiful unicornperson and you don’t need to make anyone happy but yourself.
Here are the top 10 things you should never apologize for:
1. What you like
Know all the words to The Pinkprint but also love reading contemporary poetry? That’s awesome. Like watching Keeping Up with the Kardashians, but also volunteer at animal shelters on the weekends? That’s cool, too. Do you read YA novels when you’re taking a break from writing your thesis on quantum entanglement? You do you, boo!
Don’t let people make you feel bad about the things that make you happy. We contain multitudes, which means that our interests will be varied and won’t always fall neatly into the boxes people put us in.
2. How you dress
You’re not wearing it for them, so their opinion shouldn’t matter. (See: Reasons you should dress up every day.) That’s the facts, go print ’em.
3. Wearing too much make-up / wearing too little make-up
See above. Makeup is 100% your choice.
4. Your intelligence
Don’t apologize for knowing the important answers, for asking the important questions, for all the awesome skills you’ve honed and all the amazing ways you apply your brains and creativity to your life. If other people feel threatened by that, that’s not your problem; it’s theirs.
5. Your relationship status
This is for all my single ladies who don’t need a man, and also for the coupled up ladies who also don’t need a partner to be happy, and also for anyone who is happy in a healthy and fulfilling relationship.
We, as a society, get so caught up in the idea that having a relationship is one of the only ways to be happy that it can completely throw us off when someone is happy being single. Your relationship status is not the only factor that affects your happiness, and it’s not fair to impose a societal expectation to be coupled up on anyone, especially young people with dreams and ambitions to work towards who aren’t ready for a serious relationship.
If you’re happy on your own, then own that. If you prefer to be in a relationship, own that. Their’s no right and wrong answer to your own happiness, so there’s nothing here to apologize for. Move along, gawkers.
6. Your confidence
If someone has a problem with the fact that you like yourself, you should probably maybe not spend time around that person. #justsaying
7. Your opinions
Everyone has a right to develop and express their own opinions, and everyone has a right to have an opinion about someone else’s opinions. That means that others have every right to not like your opinion, but if they think that you shouldn’t be able to share said opinion or you should feel bad for sharing an opinion that differs from theirs…seriously, eff ’em. That’s just un-American, y’all.
8. Your beliefs
Whether these are your religious beliefs, your political beliefs, or your stance on feminism, these are a huge part of how you orient yourself to the world, how you identify, and who your community is.
If someone is trying to make you feel bad about any of these things, they are trying to make you feel bad about a fundamental part of who you are. Don’t let them.
9. Your feelings
We can’t reliably control how we feel, so it’s silly to apologize for it. How you feel is no one’s business but your own, so don’t beat yourself up over your feelings.
10. Who you are
This one is obvious. Never apologize for who you are, because you’re awesome and you’re perfect and you’re loved just as you are. Never change, never apologize. Go forth and conquer the world.
What do you think?
Are you an over-apologizer, like me? What else do you think people should never apologize for? Let me know in the comments below!