How to Tell If You're in a One-Sided Friendship

Friendships are equal parts give and take.
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Friendships can be oh-so tricky. They require a high level of attention and love in order to truly grow. However, some friendships can seem like you are putting in all the work. This is a one-sided friendship.

If you ever feel like you care more about your friend than they care about you, then it may be time to reevaluate why you feel this way. Keep in mind the duration of this feeling. Is it something that you have been feeling for a couple weeks or something that has been present for the duration of your friendship?

If it’s the first answer, then you might want to talk to your friend and make sure they are okay. They could be going through some issue in their life that is making them pull away. However, if this is something that has been going on for longer, then you may need to sit down with your friend and figure out if this is a one-sided friendship.

Here are a few signs to look for when figuring out whether or not your friendship is one sided:

1. They’re only around when it’s convenient for them

Your friend texts you for the first time in weeks. You’re excited to make plans with them and they actually seem to follow through. But when it comes time for you to ask them to hang out, they’re suddenly no longer free. 

Of course, it’s normal to be busy, especially during midterms and finals season, but if this always seems to be the case, then your friend may not be as great as you thought. A good friend should make time for you if you need it and should follow up with you when they’re free.

2. They talk and talk and talk… but don't listen

I had a friend in high school that loved to talk about boy drama with me. We would go back and forth for hours about what her crush had told her or who we thought was cute. This was all great, but one day, I needed to talk to someone about some family issues I was having. When I reached out to her, she didn’t listen and instead went back to talking about which boy she was interested in. Needless to say, our friendship ended a few months later. 

Maybe this is the same for you, but you find that they are always on their phone or never available to talk. A friend should feel comfortable enough to come to you for advice but should also be willing to give advice back to you. If they only want to hear advice for themselves, then this may be a bad friendship.

3. They make you go out of your way for them

If you’re always the one to meet your friend at their house or to rearrange your plans for them, then this is a clue that your friendship may be one-sided. Relationships in general are all about compromising. If your friend is unwilling to go the distance for you, then they are not a good friend.

4. They never show their appreciation

The best part about being a friend is the ability to give your endless love and support! This is a wonderful part of friendship, and you should do it whether or not you are recognized for it, but everyone deserves a compliment from time to time. 

If you’re doing everything in your power to be a good friend and your friend never thanks you or shows you the same level of support, then it is a one-sided friendship. A good friend should thank you for your actions and show you just how much they care about you on a daily basis. This can be as simple as saying "thank you" or treating you to a meal or coffee the next time you hang out. Either way, they should thank you for being you!

So, now that you know you’re in a one-sided friendship, what do you do?

It’s best to try and talk things out with your friend to discover whether or not this is an issue that you can work around. If it’s not, it may be time to break up with your friend. Remember, you have the right to do what is best for you, and even if it might hurt, it’s never okay to feel like you are not valued. 

Have you been in a one-sided relationship with your friend? How did you solve the issue?

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