“You need to love yourself. Love yourself so much to the point that your energy and aura rejects anyone who doesn’t know your worth.” –Billy Chapata
I believe that one of the greatest things we can do in life is to fall in love with ourselves. I’m sure everyone has heard the cliché line, “you must love yourself, before you can love anybody else.” It couldn’t be more true. By loving yourself first, you open the door for love in all other areas of your life.
Loving yourself is not something that happens overnight – it’s a process. A process that has levels and checkpoints that combine to get you to your highest level of self-love and pure happiness.
To achieve full self love and acceptance, you need to address three major areas of your life: Mind, Body and Soul. If just one of these categories is off balance, your whole sense of self can be thrown out of line. Put energy into all three and you’ll reap major rewards.
Follow along with me as I show you how to address these three categories to increase your level of self-love and create your own happily ever after.
1. The mental and emotional aspect: MIND
“Sometimes in our winds of change, we find our true direction.” -Unknown
Overcome negative thoughts or opinions about yourself.
- In a social media-fueled world where everything we do seems up for criticism and commentary, be free. Have the mentality that no matter what other people say or do, negative words or actions will not hurt you or resonate in your mind. You are strong, fierce, and the creator of your own destiny.
- If anyone ever says something negative to you about yourself, reaffirm your mind with something positive. It helps to keep a running list of things you like about yourself or that you feel you’ve done well – a journal or note on your phone can be a great place to keep track of these positive thoughts.
Create your own ideas.
- We are constantly pressured into following the path in life that will lead us to the easiest – and/or most socially acceptable – results, but sometimes we should detour away from the norm. You only get one life; you should live it in accordance with YOUR wants, not the wants of society.
- Create a life for yourself that you will truly love by coloring outside the lines, embarking on new adventures, and making an effort to live in a way that feels true to your wants and needs.
- Don’t be afraid to go for it and create your OWN idea of an ideal life: Veer away from following the straight and narrow path if that’s what your heart desires; go in the direction that others might not dare travel. That is where you’ll find your bliss.
2. The physical aspect: BODY
“Eat clean. Stay fit. And have a burger to keep you sane.” –Gigi Hadid
Don’t compare yourself to others.
- If you truly want to love yourself, you have to stop comparing yourself to others. (I know this is hard!) You were created to be different from everybody else and that is EXACTLY how you should stay. Appreciate the good aspects about yourself and love them fully.
- A helpful tip is to stop seeing life as a competition. There’s more than enough joy to go around – someone else’s awesome life doesn’t take anything away from yours. If you think about it rationally, it really is true.
- Accept yourself, flaws and all; even with your split ends, chipped nail polish and bed head hair.
Make a concerted effort to do things that make you feel good.
- This is a big one. Take the time to do things that make you feel loved, excited, exhausted, exhilarated, new – whatever it may be. Go for a run, a hike, take up a dance class, do kickboxing, whatever. If you notice you feel happy while doing an activity, make an effort to keep doing it and fall in love with the way you feel. This is part of doing you and designing your life, your way.
- Try to laugh more often. Life is too short to spend it being serious all the time. There’s humor in everything, if you take the time to look for it.
3. The personally expressive aspect: SOUL
Her soul was too deep to explore by those who always swam in the shallow end.” –A.J. Lawless
Give off good vibes/seek joy.
- We take so many things for granted in life. Even when things are at their worst, we still have so much to be thankful for. So make an effort to make gratitude a habit. Be thankful for who you are, the people you love, and the many blessings you do have in life. Write them down in your journal or use a smartphone app (we talk about one of our favorites, Gratitude365, here). Giving thanks is scientifically proven to make you happier overall! So do it and reap the benefits.
- Put positive vibes out into the world. Don’t be the friend who just complains all the time – instead, make an effort to leave others in a better mood than you found them! Just like misery loves company, so does positivity. Make #GoodVibesOnly your mantra.
- The more positive you are when speaking to yourself, the more you’ll grow to love yourself. Again, positivity breeds positivity, so put out what you want to get back, even in your own head.
Don’t apologize for who you are and what you like.
- If there’s one piece of advice I want you to remember most, it’s that you are who you are and you should never apologize for that. If you love what others hate, so be it. If you hate what others love, oh well. You have your own mentality and what you do with it is your business. Never apologize for being real. Never apologize for being authentic. And never succumb to pressure to change who you are to fit in. You were created to think differently and that’s what makes you, you.
- If anyone ever tries to make you feel bad for simply being who you are, they need to apologize to you, for asking you to be someone you’re not. This is not fair to ask of anyone.
- If someone doesn’t and cannot love you for who you are, they probably aren’t meant to be in your life. It can be hard to accept this, but if you surround yourself with people who truly love you as you are, instead of those who wish to change you, your life will improve in countless ways.
Congratulations! You are now officially on your way to falling madly in love with yourself! I hope that these tips change your life, as they have changed mine and I truly hope that you use them to become the best version of yourself. Look over them daily, weekly, monthly, or whenever you need a good pick-me-up. Remember, this is not an overnight quick fix, but it is a process that will lead to a lifestyle change and a life full of higher self-esteem.
Were these tips useful? Do you think that these tips will help change your life? Let me know in the comments!