Picture your unexpected arrival to a futuristic Bikini Bottom even more advanced than the one depicted in Spongebob Squarepants' memorable time traveling episode ("SB-129" from Season 1). Chrome is old news now, having given way to a holographic spray paint that adorns all you see before you.
Replace Spongetron, one of the 486 clones who inhabits the polychromatic wasteland, with a teenager wearing a deconstructed Ikea shopping bag. "Everything is iridescent in the future!" they claim, looking at you sideways. Outside, a flower blooms, only to be blasted with a handheld spray gun. It is now encased in a thick, glossy sheen. "Impossible!," you say, "He's lying!"
But he’s not; welcome to your future. From the rise of holographic nail polish shades to the modern-day popularity of alien-esque beauty products and even holographic slides, holographic everything is taking over. And if you want to be an early adopter, I suggest you shop the following products:
This Holographic Crossbody That's at Least Seven Different Colors at Once
Quick: What's red and yellow and green and brown and blue? This fantastic and futuristic crossbody. More fabulous than Joseph's technicolor dreamcoat, this Rampage bag is the stuff people's dreams are made of.
Shop the Rampage Holographic Crossbody ($14.99) at T.J.Maxx.
This Harajuku Clear Jacket That Literally Repels Water Because of How Cool it Is
Just as striking as Topshop's plastic jeans — and so much more practical — this Harajuku-style jacket will make you look like the ultimate space cadet. The chic kind, not the superficial one.
Shop the Aimeio Laser Rainbow Bomber Jacket ($28.48) at Amazon.
This Sneaker That's Both Opalescent and Overbold
These snazzy sneakers I found on Amazon are, according to the seller, water-resistant. Now, you can set fire to the rain, Adele style, without fear of getting your nice, shiny sneakers ruined.
Shop the Roxy Rose Glitter Sneaker ($29.99) at Amazon.
These Stretchy Shorts You Might Want to Keep Far Away From Bootleggers
Because you're showing off the booty! Aargh!
But seriously, these are a head-turning option for whatever music festival or EDM concert you might be attending this season. Not for the faint of heart, but awesome for the bold.
Shop the CoquetryClothing Lilac Holographic Booty Shorts ($29.99) at Etsy.
This Scrunchie That's Not Lisa Frank but Reminds Me so Much of Being in Elementary School and Wanting All the Lisa Frank Notebooks
Seriously, what girl didn't fawn over the whimsical, animal-adorned designs that epitomized Lisa Frank school supplies? This purple and teal tinted scrunchie is destined to be the next cool-girl item at school. Er, I mean university.
Shop the Holographic Mermaid Holographic Hair Scrunchie ($4.99) at Claire's.
These Stickers That Are out of This World
Here you have the llamateer, the spaceosaurus, the catwalker, and the unipilot. Together, they make up a space fantasy band called The Deep Space Pets. I hear it's pretty rocking.
Shop the Compoco Pop Space Animals Rainbow Sticker Set ($10.20) at Amazon.
This Perpetually Moving Glitter Water Bottle
The makers of this ban.do water bottle, presumably: "I bet if we make it sparkly enough, these millennials will finally starting drinking enough water." And because the glitter is securely within the double-walled acrylic bottle, there's no harm of it being swallowed or becoming a danger to the environment.
Shop the Glitter Bomb Water Bottle ($26) at ban.do.
These Fashion Goggles That Are Purely for Fashion and Festival Purposes ONLY
As incredible as that kaleidoscope effect is, these lenses are made of real glass and will distort your vision entirely. The psychedelic illusion it creates should be used sparingly. That being said, wouldn't these glasses look stellar on your Instagram feed?
Shop the Careonline Festival Kaleidoscope Goggles ($11.99) at Amazon.
This Heartbreaker Heart Choker
It's not quite as much fun as an anatomically correct heart necklace, but it's getting there.
Shop the Dolland Fashion Heart Choker ($2.75) at Amazon.
This iPhone Case That Lets Everyone Know You're Team Love (and Apple)
Feeling a little lonely these days? Let the bubbly heart design on this hard shell phone case breathe joy into your life. And then stream Nailed It! on Netflix because rom coms are great but a show about hilariously bad baking is even better.
Shop the Heart Case for iPhone 6/6s/7 at Forever 21.
These Earbuds That May Not Be Noise Cancelling but Are, Like, Totally Groovin'
Fall into that '70s disco roller skating aesthetic with these pearly earbuds. You'll be shining like a dancing queen in no time.
Shop the Pearl Holographic Earbuds ($12.99) at Icing.
This All-In-One Makeup Palette
Because your life may be complicated but your makeup doesn't have to be. The top row consists of holographic top coat shades while the bottom has matte blush tints. Use them separately or blend them together; you'll look fabulous either way.
Shop the Sephora Collection Holographic Face & Cheek Palette ($28) at JCPenney.
This Polyester Fanny Pack That Screams, "Hey Mom, No Hands!"
Fanny packs have evolved from being a decidedly unhip invention used only by moms while schlepping their kids around theme parks to an ironic accessory in fashion and an actual godsend to sorority pledges. This, its lustrous final stage, represents the fanny pack of the future.
Shop the Ebtoys Holographic Fanny Pack ($13.29) at Amazon.
This Nail Polish Shade That's Only Less Bright Than Your Future
With Himalayan Pink, a rose gold holographic shade, you can look put together while supporting a brand that is vegan and cruelty-free. Win-win!
Shop the Holographic Polish in Himalayan Pink ($14) at Revolve.'
This Tiny Box of Magical Scratch Off Notes
The magic lies in this box's ability to keep you entertained for longer than you'd think. Each of its 150 sheets is made up of black note paper that can be scratched off to reveal a silver holographic pattern. You can use it anywhere from doodling to writing ~very important~ office notes.
Shop the Purple Ladybug Novelty Scratch Off Mini Notes + 2 Stylus Pens ($9.99) at Amazon.
Are you a fan of the holographic trend? Does it make you feel like you're in Zenon: Girl of the 21st Century or do you sense it's super gimmicky? What are your thoughts on other trends (marble, chrome, etc)?