With relationship season (AKA "cuffing season") in full swing, it can be hard to be alone during this time of the year. You may want someone to spend the holidays with, to carve pumpkins with, to go ice skating with… I could go on and on. The only problem is, the person that you have a crush on seems to be taking forever to make a move.
So, the question arises: should you be the one to make a move on your crush? Read the article below to figure out why, when, and how you should ask out your crush!
Why you should ask out your crush:
1. It’s better to know than to not know
I often find myself obsessively thinking about whether or not I should do the thing that I want to do. Although it can be scary to finally send your crush that risky text or ask them out in person for fear of what they might say or think, in the end, it’s better to get it over with and get an answer either way. Spending time stressing out about what could happen is not worth your time. So, why not ask your crush out and see what they have to say?
2. You have nothing to lose
You really don’t have much to lose in this situation. If your crush isn’t absolutely honored to go on a date with you or doesn’t have the respect to turn you down nicely, then they are not someone that you should be spending time with anyway. If this person is a part of your friend group, then they should be able to understand what you were willing to risk in order to ask them out and should admire you, rather than shame you.
3. You really like this person
If this is someone that you really like, then you should go for it. This could be someone that you could end up with one day so you might as well be forward with them now if you think there’s a possibility for a future with you two.
In this day and age, women can ask out men! Despite traditional values that are still present in our society, it is completely okay and normal for a girl to ask a guy on a date. If anything, this will show your crush that you are a strong and independent woman and they will likely respect that you are willing to stand your ground and be confident.
When you should ask out your crush:
1. You’ve been talking for a while
If this is someone that you know fairly well then it makes sense to ask them out on a date! By this point, you know that they are interested in talking to and spending time with you, so why not suggest taking your weekly class conversations to a restaurant or shifting some of that texting conversation to face-to-face conversation?
2. You know you have time
Relationships can be a time commitment, so before you ask your crush out, make sure that you have the time and availability to be in a relationship if they say yes. If you don’t have the time to make a relationship work than you shouldn’t ask out your crush and potentially lead them on.
3. They’ve been giving you signs they like you too
Your crush may be subtly, or not so subtly, showing signs that they are also interested. This can range from body language cues to actual verbal cues but if you have any type of sense that they are interested, ask them out! They might not be sure if you’re ready to take things to the next level so if you are forward and show that you’re interested they might be eternally grateful.
How you should ask out your crush:
1. Prepare for the worst
Know the worst-case scenario before you go to ask out your crush. And then focus on how it’s really not that bad. The absolute worst thing that they can do is say no. From there, you’ll be able to move on. That doesn’t sound too bad, now does it?
2. Be confident
Be confident when asking this person out. Confidence is the most natural form of beauty. Know what you’re going to say and be confident when saying it. Your crush will like you ten times more if you believe in yourself. Whether you plan out exactly what you’re going to say to your crush or you decide to do it spontaneously, be confident in yourself and your abilities.
3. Be proud of yourself either way
Phew, that wasn’t so bad! Whether your crush said yes or no, be proud of what you have just done. Being open and vulnerable isn’t easy and it’s not something that you should just shrug off. You were able to gather the confidence in yourself to do something that you’ve wanted to do and that’s amazing -- no matter the result!
Have you asked out your crush before? What happened? Have you been wanting to ask them out? Let us know below!
Asking out someone out is a scary process but once you do it, you will feel like a weight has been lifted from your shoulders. If they say no, then you know that they aren’t interested, and you can begin to move on. If they say yes, then you can begin to explore a relationship with this person and start getting to know them better!
Whatever happens, you will know you have the ability to make things happen and it will teach you so many lessons about being upfront and courageous in future relationships, future job opportunities, and future friendships. Best of luck to all of you!