How to Maintain a Long-Distance Relationship in College

It’s 100% possible to make an LDR work in college; here’s how.

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How to maintain a long distance relationship in college

Let’s face it. Contrary to what happens on most TV shows (I’m talking to you, Gossip Girl), odds are that you probably didn’t start the semester attending the same college as your boyfriend or girlfriend.

LDRs are pretty common on college campuses, especially in September, when many girls are still dating their summer flings. However, as I’ve learned from countless friends, October and November seem to be the time when most LDRs start to fizzle out.

But don’t worry. Even though long-distance relationships in college can be difficult, I’m here to tell you that everything is going to be okay.

You see, readers, I happen to be in one myself – a very long-distance relationship that spans the Atlantic Ocean. So I feel your pain.

Here are a couple helpful tips that I’ve learned for keeping that long-distance flame burning through fall and beyond.

1. You Both Have to Want to Make it Work.

The number one most important factor in the success of a long-distance relationship is your mutual desire to make it work, no matter what.

Yes, you might like the idea of staying together despite the distance initially, but after a few months, you’ll both start to realize how tough LDRs really are. And when that time comes, a firm commitment is what will get you through.

You both have to be willing to work through the problems that will inevitably arise, instead of dropping the relationship at the first sign of trouble.

Also, it’s not enough for one of you to be committed – long distance relationships don’t work unless both parties are equally dedicated and willing to put in the time and energy required.

One-sided relationships never succeed in the long term, and this is doubly true when you add distance to the equation. If you start to notice you’re putting way more effort into the relationship than your boyfriend or girlfriend, it might be time to rethink things.

2. Communication is Key.

This probably sounds pretty obvious, but communication is key to maintaining a long-distance relationship – and it’s not as simple as just text messages and phone calls.

Sharing concerns and frustrations with each other is essential. It’s important not to bottle up your insecurities. Instead, just share your feelings with him or her. Be clear about how you feel – whether those feelings are good or bad.

Here are some of my favorite ways to communicate!

Video Chatting

Video chatting with boyfriend

If you haven’t done this already, set up regular FaceTime dates and stick to them.

When you start to miss hanging out with each other, FaceTime or Zoom is a great way to chat face-to-face and do something together. Sometimes you don’t even need words! My BF and I like to video chat with each other while we’re both working on separate projects. That way we can casually chat and do our work at the same time. It’s like being in the same room together.

However, waiting all day for your BF or GF to FaceTime you so that you two can chat is definitely not the way to go – believe me, I’ve done it multiple times. Sooner or later you realize that there has to be some sort of schedule.

For example, between studying for midterms, completing assignments and hanging out with friends, it may be hard for you and your boy or girl to get a hold of each other. That, my dear readers, is where the FaceTime scheduling begins.

Find a time every night (or every other night) that works for both of you – but keep time zones in mind! What’s a good time for you may not always be a good time for them and vice-versa.

Snail Mail

Love letter

Believe it or not, hand-written postcards and letters always feel more personal than texts and emails. Take some time out of your day to send your significant other a letter every few weeks.

And be creative!Β  Send poems, drawings, photos or things that remind you of each other. Send them a wallet-sized photo or one of your favorite bracelets for them to hold onto.

And the next time you see him or her, snag one of their tee shirts to wear to bed. Because even though you two can’t cuddle together, it’s nice to have something that smells like that special someone.

Other Great Ways to Communicate:

  • Emails
  • Sending each other TikToks or Instagram memes
  • Daily Texts
  • GChat
  • Phone Calls

3. Patience is a Virtue.

No matter how hard you try, you probably won’t be speaking to each other as often as you used to, but you just have to be patient. There will be missed calls and unanswered texts, and that is something that you just need to come to terms with in a long-distance relationship.

But the important thing to remember is that you shouldn’t spend your time waiting around for a message to pop up in your inbox.Β 

So if you’re a bit on the impatient side, the best way calm your anxiety is by keeping yourself busy. Join a campus club, start volunteering or hang out with your friends!

That way, you won’t be waiting around by the phone all day and you’ll have some great stories to share when you guys do talk.

4. You Have Nothing Without Trust.

Couple in love

Every relationship needs trust, but it’s especially crucial for maintaining a healthy long-distance relationship.

Of course, even I can’t resist the occasional stalking of who is in my boyfriend’s Instagram stories or who is commenting on his posts. But it’s important not to read too much into stories or comments by other girls — because you have to realize (even though it’s hard sometimes) that while you’re enjoying meeting new people and experiencing the college social scene, he or she is doing the same.

So don’t try to suffocate your partner by being too controlling. Jealously and drama will destroy any relationship – long-distance or not.

You really need to trust that your significant other is making the right decisions, and they need to trust that you’re doing the sameΒ  If he or she starts to question your social media activities, then maybe it’s time for you two to have a serious discussion.

Remember that one of the benefits of being in a long-distance relationship is finding out who you are as an individual. This also means finding the right balance between hanging out with new friends and spending time with your significant other.

They shouldn’t expect you to spend all your time chatting with them, and you shouldn’t expect that either. You both need to go out and enjoy college life!

Trusting your boy or girlfriend not only calms your nerves but it also leads to a happier and healthier relationship.

5. Look Toward the Future.

There’s always a light at the end of the tunnel, and one of the best ways to survive a long-distance relationship is by setting small goals. For example, start a countdown to the next time that you two will see each other.

And hang in there! What doesn’t kill you will make you stronger. Whether it succeeds or fizzles, every relationship is a learning experience. At the end of the day, you’ll learn more about your own personal strengths and weaknesses from this experience.

What do you think of our guide to long distance relationships in college?

Have you ever been in a long-distance relationship? Or are you currently in one? Tell me the kinds of things you and your BF or GF do to keep your relationship strong!

I would love to hear your experiences. Just leave me a comment!

60 thoughts on “How to Maintain a Long-Distance Relationship in College”

  1. :'( while i’m reading this, i’m missing my bf…hehe, i totally agree to all those tips esp. the trust thing. if you put more doubts than trust, then you’re relationship will go down the drain. all my friends kept asking me how did I ever survive. then i paused and answered “prayer and trust” because our relationship is basically built on that foundation. Today is our monthsary by the way, and I like to greet my boyfriend, Happy Monthsary mi! I love you so much! :*I’m thankful to have someone like you in my life. we’ll be turning one year this may 18. i’m so excited. hehe, i hope we’ll have more years and monthsaries to celebrate our love. <3

  2. This article was very helpful to me. I’m going to college in a month at Colorado State University and my boyfriend of 8 months is going to Dallas, Texas! I know he’s the one I want to be with long after college, but the four/five years ahead made me doubt if that would happen. Now that I know how to make it work, and I read some success stories (thanks, people who commented!) I’m a lot more confident that we’ll make it through!

  3. College is starting tomorrow for my boyfriend of three years, and we are both going to be missing each other. We are each others firsts, so we have no experience in LDR’s otherwise. Great article though! I learned quite a lot!

  4. Well I’ve been in a long distance relationship for six years. I live in California and he lives in Texas, we are each others first boyfriend and girlfriend. I broke up with him once thinking I wanted to try the local relationship, but in the end I felt there was more trust and communication from a long distance relationship. It’s definitely hard, I just finished high school and I’m going to start college in the Fall. We met after 3 years and have been visiting each other at least once a year. I can’t see myself with anyone else, but him in the long run. It is definitely worth it if both of you are committed. I plan to move over there and finish school in Texas after I finish my general ed. πŸ™‚ Hope living the college life isn’t going to strain my relationship. Wish everyone in LDR the best of luck, and trust me it can truly work as long as you both try.

  5. I have been in one long distance relationship before, but it didn’t work out well because I was not being treated the way I should….But, now I have been in another relationship with one truly amazing guy I have been dating him for about a year and two months and honestly it feels soo much longer! I am going to school though next week all the way in atlanta, georgia and he is staying in california to finish his schooling and transfer over to be closer to me. I love him so much and honestly if it were any other guy I would say NO, but all the listed above tips are soo true and him and i are going to follow this advice as well as others like it is the Bible itself…

  6. I am also currently in a long distance relationship with my boy. I live in Nova Scotia, and he lives in Alberta. For those of you who don’t know your Canadian geography, I’m on the East Coast, and he’s one province away from being on the West Coast.

    We met at a university summer program, and were only dating for two weeks before we had to go our seperate ways. We talked about it, and decided that we had something special, neither of us wanted to end it. He’s in his first year of college, and I’m in my senior year of high school, so that makes it kind of difficult to visit eachother. Plus there’s the money issue, plane tickets across the country are expensive, and neither of us has a really good job to pay for it. We don’t know when we’re going to see eachother again, which most people say will make our relationship crash and burn, but both of us really want to make this work.

    I really believe that we can make this work, but it’s definitely going to be hard. He’s not great with communication, and he has been really busy with college lately. I’ve tried to tell him that I need more communication, and it always ends with him telling me he will text / skype with me more often, but then he never does. We were great at talking when we were together, even though it had to be in a language both of us were trying to learn. We could talk and laugh together for hours, about anything, and we were consantly together, but now we can hardly talk for an hour over skype. It doesn’t feel as personal, and I’m just realizing this while writing, our relationship was really physical, a lot of pointing and some silence while we were trying to figure out how to translate somthing. I just want this to work, I’m worried, but we love eachother enough to try.

  7. thanx for such beautiful tips…………… i m currently in a long distance relationship, we both love each other a lottttttt, we both understand each other…. we normally get time for each other at night….. that too if he is not tired enough…………. but even then he calls me up just to say good night and love u………… which really means a lot to me………..
    I feel we share a strong bonding………… he is the best guy that i would have ever had in my life…………but sometimes i used to get impatient but reading this article has helped me a lottt…………..i guess now our relationship would get more stronger than before…..

  8. My boyfriend and I spend absolutely all our time together in college and then each summer he goes to Cali for an internship (we’re in Hawaii for school). We have been doing this for almost three years now.
    However, he just got another internship last Texas!! So here I was expecting to spend the next four months and now I get 8 days with him. It’s good to just read some of these tips even though I deal with it every year. Seven months will be a big change from the usual three… But it should work out as long as we keep working at it!

  9. I’m currently attending college in Chicago. I have a boyfriend living in Alabama/Florida. It’s hard because I want the chance to live with him, but I want to finish up school and get my degree! Once I graduate we can be together. I figured once he settles down to his own place and next summer when I’m off I can spend it with him! Sure I won’t see him in school but this should make up for it!

  10. Am in an Ldr met this girl on facebook am in west africa and she is in washington we love each other so much but i am in the university and i’ve got 4 years to go before i can think of seeing her i dont know how this whole stuff is gonna work out am confused

  11. My girlfriend just left for school yesterday. I just moved to this state a year ago, so she was and still is really my only friend. We’re both the same age, but in two months I’ll be going off to boot camp for the US Navy. I am currently working on getting a job to keep me distracted, but it’s hard when i’m only here for two more months. My entire year here has been spent with her. We’ve gone up and down the east coast, traveled to different countries together, and have gone on countless road trips. I am at her house everyday, and so when she left for school, it was really hard. Generally, I’m a pretty strong guy, but I broke down yesterday. I know she’ll do great in school though, and we’ll stay strong together. I have never loved someone as much as I love her, and I would do anything for her. That’s why i’m staying committed and know that we will get through this. I’m not sure if anyone actually will read this or why I’m even writing this. Maybe it’s helping me, I don’t know. I guess all I can say to people who are experiencing the same thing as me is to hold on. Don’t give up on each other. It will be hard, it will take work, but don’t ever give up on the ones you love. If you love them enough, you’ll do anything to keep them. Hang in there, everyone.

  12. Hey, I am back to a long distance relationship. We were both a course-mate at school and I had a crush on him on the very first day I saw him. He never noticed that. We met again after 15 years via FB. He don’t seem to recognize me, so I told him we were at the same college and I had feelings for him.

    Simple conversation has changed everything. And, I can’t believe we are now in a relationship. Unexpectedly.

    We both really want to make this happened and we are counting days to meet up again after 15 years. For now, we only had texts and telephone conversation.

    I have to agree with you that do not look so much on his Facebook walls. Because that just will lead to something necessary. Trust is all we have.

    Thank you for sharing the tips.

  13. Hey I am in a long distance relationship myself like very long. He lives in Denmark and I live in the US. I’m sooo terrified that when college starts for him again and for me for the first time. That we will slowly fall off. Deeper insight… we have a 6 hour time difference so that doesnt help at all. I’m just so worried. I love him so much and we skype everyday and have movie dates and such. And I’m just terrified I’ll lose the most important guy in my life. He goes back to college in 11 days. I pray we can still make time for each other. I guess if we can over come this challenge together, we can overcome anything together❀

  14. This article is perfect, and i’m sure many girls and guys out there can relate. I’m in an LDR too, we’ve known each other for ages but didn’t actually start dating since the past’ll almost be 6 months now that we’ve been together, and we live on opposite sides of the globe so time differences are a big issue but we still manage to make it work! Skype, chatting, and texts help a lot πŸ™‚

  15. this is a great article. I sent it to my boyfriend (we’re in a LDR too) and he said it was inspiring to see that we’re already doing most of these things, and that most of the comments are positive. I have to say, someone commented about LDRs being “worth it in the end’ and I’m a little weirded out by that idea.. shouldn’t it be worth it the entire time? What exactly is “the end”, anyways? When you’re back in the same location, when you’ve got a ring, or when you’re dead? I think if you’re not happy with a relationship, long distance or otherwise, than what’s the point? Thanks for the great (perfectly timed!) article!

  16. This was a great post!…I have been doing long distance for 6 months now and the relationship is approaching a year of actually being together. My boyfirend moved out to Colorado because he was offered a really good job, and Im still in Florida finishing up my senior year. It has been trully been difficult because he is two time zones away and we both have crazy schedules. I can honestly say that through this process I have trully learned about myself and what I can endure and cope during this situation, and although we have our rough patches and I do mean rough for some reason we always pull through and decide to keep going. The best advice I could give which is truly the thing that has kept me going is staying positive no matter what, having positive affirmations, staying away from negative feedback even when it’s from your closets friends and family and not getting caught up in the small things!

  17. I am no longer in college, but stumbled across this article and really enjoyed it. I am currently in an LDR because of having to move for work and I agree with ALL of those points in the article.
    I just wanted to suggest for people in LDRs a website that I use often for inspiration/support.
    This website has some great ideas on things to do together even from far away and it also has a great forum area where you can ask for advice, get support, etc.

  18. Thank you so much for writing this article! It really couldn’t have come at a better time. My boyfriend and I have been in an LDR from the get go but with 3 hrs between us its not too terrible and we text/talk/skype all the time. Now going on almost a year, I only have until spring to graduate, but recently I’ve been debating if I just wanted to move now for a multitude of reasons. Your article has definitely help me motivate myself and know we can get through the rest of the relatively small time til graduation.

  19. This Article was excellent timing for me and my gf because we’ve only been together about a month and a half and shes in college but i take every chance i can to see her. Shes in Virginia and Im still in Maryland, but we are only maybe 2 hrs away. I Love her so much already, and this right here gives me all the confidence in the world. ANd by reading this I know we will go a Long way! Thanks.

  20. I completely agree with all of the above advice. I’m going to college at the University of California, any my boyfriend is at the University of Texas. We’re states away, but not only that, we live in separate states. It was a complicated beginning, and I’m not gonna lie, it’s an on-going effort. But I tell myself, what relationship isn’t an on-going effort? It’s really hard, and the three things most important aspects I believe are commitment, trust, and communication.

  21. This was so well-written! I completely agree with everything you said. My boyfriend and I met this summer during my internship. He lives in PA and I live in NJ so it’s not that far but it’s still tough not seeing him every day. I sent him cards and we promised each other that we would talk on the phone every day. Even if it’s just a quick “Hello” it really helps hearing his voice and if we have any problems we can get them out right away instead of keeping them inside. Communication is so important!

  22. Hi, i really love this post! Apparently i feel so reluctant to accept a long distance relationship, but after reading you post, i have a clue on how to maintain a LDR, i guess i know what shall i do with the LDR confession! πŸ˜€

  23. Thank you so much for writing this type of article, I was really starting to panic for the future of my boyfriend and I after reading so many pre-college articles saying that I should “ditch the boyfriend” because it was “doomed”. We’re going to enter a long-distance relationship beginning of next year, and it’s great to finally see some positive advice!

  24. I met my fiance over the internet, and have been in a long-distance relationship since. We never dreamed of meeting online and having it carry this far lol, but one day he fessed up and told me he really wanted to meet. So I went to meet him….3,000 miles away. He proposed to me as I was leaving the airport a week later. That was 6 months ago. I can tell you right here right now, this thing is not for the faint of heart. But if you really, truly WANT to make it work and are not just “trying to ride it out”, then you’ll be fine. He has so much trust for me and knows I would never break his heart. And I can rest easy, knowing I’ll always get a “goodmorning baby” text when I wake up, and he calls when he gets home from work. It’s been lovely, and I can’t wait to see what the future holds! Hang in there girls…it’s a pain and I know for me at least, am always jealous of the people who get to spend the whole day with him when I only get an hour. Be strong, be PATIENT, and know that it won’t last forever. Finally, you have to be completely honest to earn somebody’s trust. Even if you know he/she will flip, say what’s on your mind anyway. As this article (which was so encouraging!) stated earlier…”without trust, you have nothing”.

  25. My boyfriend and I have been in a long distance relationship for just over 2 years.
    I’ve recently started university and he is taking a gap year to earn some money.
    There are tough moments but we try to see each other as much as possible.
    We’ve made cute presents for each other i.e. scrapbooks, which we can read when we feel down :D.
    Thanks for this article, everything you said it true.x

  26. College is the time to have fun and explore… don’t tie yourself down and pine over your high school boyfriend or forgo fun opportunities to meet new people of the opposite sex because your boyfriend is far away. Talk to your boyfriend maybe take a break…or just when you’re together you’re together when you’re not you’re not.

  27. I was in a LDR my freshman year of college and it fell through completely. I fell into depression and got really clingy and controlling it was terrible. But now I’m best friends again with my ex, and now go to the same school. This article is super helpful, but I can’t stress enough how patience is the key to LDRs.

  28. This story could not have come at a better time. My boyfriend of four years just left last week for a year to live across the country. This advice has really given me hope that things will be okay. Unfortunately, I made the huge mistake of letting a lot of my friendships go because I had a boyfriend, and I am suffering through the consequences now. I have no one to hang out with and I’ve never felt so lonely. But this experience has taught me a lesson to never let friendships go over a boy! Hopefully, in the end, this will be a positive experience for me and I can get through this tough time successfully.

  29. @crystal – glad you liked the song idea! It sounds funny in a way, but it really helped me through a lot of lonely times away at college missing my bf. I even had ‘at least we made it this far’ as my ringtone for a while, and so did my bf. It was nice to know we were sharing that, as small as it was, because every time i heard it it was instantly like getting a little encouraging hug from him. πŸ™‚
    I still love the lyrics – “I’m so tired of the phone, Baby // I don’t like the tone // The way we say I love you // A thousand times // We say those words // But we can’t look into each others eyes” πŸ™‚ Its a true LDR theme song!!!

    Now that we’re married, I think we both can look back on our time of LDR-ing it and see how much going through that has actually benefited our relationship. It built trust, strengthened our communication skills, gave real clarity to our relationship and what it means to us, and – more than anything – taught us that our relationship is strong enough to survive anything as long as we are willing to work on it.

    Best wishes to all the LDRs out there – you can make it work!!! <3

  30. I love aim!! So easy to get in touch with people with the technology we have today! But hadmade cards are always the most personal and thoughtful!!

  31. LDRs are the hardest! The trust and insecurity issues bug me the most. There will always be things that you will hide from each other. LDRs never worked for me. πŸ™

  32. I’m in a LDR right now as well. My boyfriend leaves across the Atlantic as well, all the way in England and it does get hard but it’s worth it in the end. We see each other 4 times a year for a month at a time and I’m moving out there next June for study abroad. It’s all about goals and we try to plan little achievements throughout the year to help us. We send little gifts, cards, and notes in the mail just to let each other know that yes, we are a physical person. Skype is a great player in keeping us together. We are 5 hours apart and we’re both busy with hectic school/work schedules, so even if we can’t sit down and speak, we can leave each other on in the background as we study and we usually fall asleep together on skype. Thank goodness for technology! But LDR’s are totally worth it if you can keep your patience and trust and work towards goals. πŸ™‚ xx

  33. I know it isn’t quite the same, but I’m having an LDR with my parents and my friends while I study abroad.
    I have to let me parents know what time I’m free and I make skype dates with my friends and keep facebook messages active. I also send my parents and friends things in the post.
    Time differences can be a bitch too.
    I’ve never managed to make an actual relationship work long-distance but I definitely think these tips can apply to studying abroad :]]

    Charlotte xxx

  34. This makes me so happy to read too!! My long distance bf lives close enough that I can visit every few weeks or so. But i’m happy to know other people are int he same boat as me and that slightly irrational fears aren’t unique to me. There’s still hope! Thanks for the tips!

  35. My bf lives thousands of miles away and we video chat loads & send letters etc. Sometimes we watch movies together online. It’s not as nice as watching together in person but its better than not doing anything at all πŸ™‚

  36. Wow! Thank you guys so much for the great responses! I’m so happy that many of you are in a similar position and are handling the LDR so well!

    It’s NEVER impossible, and if you really care about someone and you know that he feels the same way, them please try to make it work because you’ll never know unless you try.

    It’s great to read so many positive experiences. Congrats to you guys for making it work!

    @rachael – having your own song is a great idea! Thanks πŸ™‚

  37. It’s hard, but it’s definitely not impossible. And there are so many rewards of a long distance relationship – for one thing, you’re so much more appreciative of the time you spend. My boyfriend lived in England whilst I lived in New York, and after over a year of long distance living, I’ve moved to England to study abroad. If you both want it, and really think you can do it, then it doesn’t seem so bad at all.

  38. This article makes me so happy! When I was getting ready to go to college, every article, book and friend told me to break up with my boyfriend, but hear we are over three and a half years later, still happy and still so in love. He graduates this year and is planning to get a job by me so we can live together. If you both really want it to work, it will work. That’s not to say there haven’t been rough patches, but that’s something all relationships go through whether the next town over or a few states over.
    Thank you for showing non believers of LDR’s that there are lots of ways to keep the love alive!

  39. Thank you so much for this article! My bf and i are in our 1st year of long distance, i’m studying in europe and he’s in the navy, more accurately he’s a submariner… This means that he spends MONTHS out to sea, and well the only way we can communicate is by email, which only gets sent out of his boat every couple of days… I miss him constantly, and when he gets to port, and is able to call me, we spend hours on the phone. Just to be able to hear his voice is, well, awesome, cause sometimes it gets hard to remember that i’m actually having a relationship with a physical person, and not just a computer or something… he also sends me stuff from wherever he’s at, different places in asia etc, and it’s great to be able to hold something he picked out and remember him, it brings him closer. Also he’s coming to see me in a month, so that’s good, but honestly, had i known how hard ldr’s are, i would’ve thought harder about entering into one… but now i’m right in the middle of it, i can’t just break out of it either.. the hardest part is definitely just remembering him as a person, and the way we are together. But I love him incredibly much, and we’re both determined to make this work, we’ve decided that it’s not impossible!

  40. Thank you for writing this great article! I’m in my last year of college and my boyfriend may have one more semester or year to do before he can graduate. There will most likely be some long distance stuff going on, and I’ve been worried about it. This makes me feel a little better.

  41. Awwww this is a great article!

    My bf and I have been together for 6 years and two of those years were long distance college years. It’s not easy, and like you said, both of you have to want it, then it’s worth it!

    We live three hours apart, so we try to see each other once every two weeks, and meet up and have some sort of adventure or outing. I miss him terribly and wish I could see him every day but I am happy with the current state of our relationship. Long distance makes me appreciate the time I have with him so much more πŸ™‚

  42. I’m so happy to see this post! I’ve been with my bf for about 4 years and going on to 5. It feels so good to know that there are people in the same position as myself. In the past I’ve gotten a lot of negative comments regarding LDR. I feel that another reason why LDR don’t end up working out is because people can get influenced by what friends tell them. I believe that when you know that something feels right, just go with it. Perhaps, some friends have the best of intentions for you, however you have to be the one capable of deciding things without the influence of others. Just have trust, happiness and put the effort into your relationship, you will see that everything will fall into place πŸ™‚

  43. My boyfriend and I spent our first year together in an LDR. It was hard, but we made it, and in 2 days it’ll be our four year dating anniversary. This article really made me appreciate how easy we have it now compared to our freshman years. Between hectic work and school schedules it’s easy to get frustrated when we can’t spend a lot of time together now, but I have to remember that not so long ago we had to deal with much more time apart. It’s worth it in the end if it’s what both of you want. Now when we have problems arise we get to say “hey, we can do this- we spent an entire year apart!”

    Good luck to everyone and their loves!

  44. Thank God for Skype! I don’t know if my BF, who’s currently in NYC, and I, in Germany, would have made it without it!

    As it was said in the article, definitely try it out if you haven’t already, it feels so much better than talking on the phone!
    Living in very different time zones we can only skype on weekends but that makes us cherish our “skypedates” even more.

    My advice for LDR-talks on skype would be to plan for enough time. Plan for an hour or longer where you can fully concentrate on the other person and don’t have to do anything else on the side. Making time for each other is even more important in LDRs

  45. I’m currently in a long distance relationship…we’re almost 2,000 miles apart. He’s in the army and everyday I tell myself that this is what I want and we try to do the best we can. It’s harder when your schedules are so hectic but honestly it’s the little things that really matter. Snail mail, e-mails, text messages, voicemails and even care packages help in the long run. It’s definitely hard as hell I’m not going to lie but if you really want this then you don’t care about the distance.

  46. I’m in a LDR as well. My boyfriend and I met when we were both attending the same community college and we lived in adjacent towns. But then we both transferred to different schools. It was not so bad at first because our schools were only an hour and a half away so we spent every weekend together. But now that he’s graduated and I still have a year and a half left, we are four and a half hours apart. And he might be moving several states away for a job soon. So this article was perfect timing!

  47. I married my once-long-distance-boyfriend a little over a year ago. We are incredibly blessed, happy, & loving marriage.

    LDRs are like all relationships – good, lasting ones take work, dedication, loyalty, and a positive, loving attitude. The best relationship advice I ever got was that regardless of what we might hear, relationships are not 50/50. They are 100/100. Both people have to do their best to put 100 percent in every day. Will it always work like that? No. But if you’re both in it 100 percent, you’ll make it work.

    Also, it doesn’t hurt to have a LDR theme song. πŸ™‚ I listened the life out of Relient K’s “At least we made it this far” & “taking you with me” – both really positive songs about LDRs.

  48. YAY! I am so happy to see an article about LDRs! Like Ari, almost everything I read before going to college told me to break up with my boyfriend, whom I had been dating for 2 years at that point. We decided that it was best for us to go to different colleges, and we’re both happy where we are but it can be very tough sometimes. I definitely agree with everything in this article, and I STRESS communication! Communication is absolutely key to any relationship, long-distance or not. My boyfriend and I have been dating for almost 4 years now…and this spring, I’ll be increasing the distance between us when I study abroad in Spain…missing our anniversary by one day! πŸ™

    Like the article says, set goals. Small goals are good, like knowing when you’ll see each other next, but what really keeps us together are our big goals. We know that we are getting engaged sometime senior year. We know we’re getting married after graduation (on our anniversary), and we know we’re starting a family together after that. Of course, not everyone has goals this big…but when we go through our hardest times, it’s our big goal that has kept us together.

  49. I love this article! Trust is the hardest part! There’s always those little fears! But staying calm and trusting makes it worth while and enjoyable!

  50. Here I am at the other side of things…. I opted to end my relationship before it could go long distance because I was afraid of an even worse heartbreak down the road!

    Now I really regret it. My ex and I don’t really talk anymore, at first because we both needed time to recuperate from the break up, and then later because we never got into the habit of keeping in touch. I’d feel awkward calling him up now and trying to reestablish contact (especially because I was the one who ended it) and I really miss what I had. Who knows? Maybe it actually WOULD have worked out.

    Moral of the story is: don’t wimp out of an LDR just because you’re afraid of things turning sour. The whole nature of a relationship is putting yourself out there, making yourself vulnerable to someone, and trusting them not to hurt you. Whether it works out or not… well, you’ll never know unless you give it a shot. And even if it ends up badly, at least you tried!

  51. This article is perfect. I totally agree with everything you say above, even if it’s hard sometimes to stay calm & have trust. But I believe it’s totally worth it in the end!
    Great article! πŸ™‚

  52. I just broke up with my BF and we were on a LDR. Is hard to define where is the root of the problems that you have when you are in this situation, because is either the distance or the relationship is not working? In my case was the second, despite doing all the recommendations above.
    What i recommend its whenever you have problems while in a LDR try to see the big picture.. are u having those issues because of the distance or is something more deeper?

  53. This story came at a perfect time and is completely spot on. Thanks for including something unrelated to fashion that has such an impact on girls and guys who view this site. Props to you for taking the time to sit down and map all of this out, because many times its hard to quantify what exactly a relationship is and how to give applicable advice to a large audience. But this is so fair and informative! Thanks for the reaffirmation. I’m in a long-distance relationship right now. We dated in high school for 2 years and 1 of them was long-distance (he’s older) and now i’m in college. We make it work quite well and we’re lucky to be close enough to see each other more often than other LDRs ( Usually once a month or more). Hopefully he’ll be closer to me in the spring but we’ll see! It is a unique thing and can be difficult but it is a very rewarding thing to be able to know that your relationship can withstand more than many others. I love this post! Thanks again!

  54. My boyfriend have been dating for almost 2 years and we are currently trying to make it work long distance. It’s really hard I’m not going to lie! There are some days I wish I could get in my car drive up the street and get a hug but I can’t being 160 miles away.
    We text each other almost 24/7 and that helps A LOT!!! When I’m having a bad day I call him because just the sound of his voice helps! Every thursday night we video chat and watch The Big Bang Theory together. It’s like our time together every week! Also we are mailing a box back and forth filled with different things. The first time I got it the box had a bear in it and one of his t-shirts and some of my favorite candy. It wasn’t much but it was just what I needed. Now when I really miss him I snuggle up with the bear and his t-shirt that smells like him and I feel so much better.We also decided what months I’m gonna come see him and when he is gonna come see me.
    The whole LDR thing is hard but it’s so worth it when you see each other after a long time apart. Like the article said what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger and I think this is making us so much stronger!


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