If you’re anything like me, it’s sometimes hard for you to get out of your own head. This thinking, for me, has a lot to do with the passage of time.
It first started with high school.
Sure, I knew there was life beyond the football games, the pep rallies, and the kisses snuck in the hallways; but it was my life at the time, it was all I knew and seeing beyond that was like looking into an abyss of nothingness.
Looking back it’s crazy to think about all the little things I have forgotten, things that once defined my experience and shaped the life my friends and I were living. So, here I am now, four years out of high school, four years into college, and only two months left until life as I know it ends.
Life went on after high school…but college?! How can I not freak out a little? My life is basically ending.
And just for the record, it’s true what they say. It’s the best years that end as quickly as they began.
The end of this life for me is only one of the thoughts running through my brain as graduation approaches. Read on for three more crazy thoughts I (and probably many others) have about graduating from college this May:
1. Is it truly the end or is it the Beginning?
I am again and again thrown back into this headspace.
I know there’s more life to live after college, hell I’m only twenty-two, but it just kinda feels like life is ending rather than beginning.
After years of studying to get into college, then studying to succeed in college, learning new things, and being defined by grades, that’s all I’ve really known. It’s hard to enter into a world that doesn’t mimic the structure I have lived and breathed for so long.
Not to mention, now it’s real and while failure is an opportunity for growth, the consequences of failure in the real world are far more dire than they are in academia.
2. Where is the excitement? Do I wait for it or chase it?
I can’t help but think that what I’m doing right now and the moves I make in this second will define the rest of my life. I also sometimes get this dark feeling that if nothing exciting or life-changing has happened up until now, it never will.
I’ve been waiting for excitement (aka becoming famous just for being my fabulous self, landing some game-changing job, etc.) that hasn’t come. Will it ever? If I keep my open mind, will the exciting life I crave materialize?
Where is the line between letting ‘what will be, be’ and making things happen for myself?
3. Will I ever live up to expectations?
I need to face the facts: graduation is coming and I don’t have a job lined up. I know I am capable of great things, and I know I am driven and ready to rock it, but dang — isn’t it all a little daunting?
As I scan the job boards and fill out applications, I weigh the prerequisites and duties that some these jobs require. Can I really do everything they need of me? Am I really worth the crazy (but also tiny) amount of money they are willing to pay me?
Besides employment, what about how I feel about me? Will I live up to my own expectations? I just hope I will be able to accomplish the things I’ve dreamed about and feel good about myself and my path — whatever that may be.
I’m an adult, but HELP MOM I’M ALSO STILL A KID!
It’s happening, whether we like it or not!
Time will move on and we (mainly I) just need to keep reminding ourselves that no matter the thoughts we have and no matter what comes next, it will all be okay!
I want to hear from you in the comments below!
Are you graduating this year? How are you feeling about graduation? Are you ready? What crazy thoughts have you had? Please tell me I’m not alone here.