Let’s not sugar coat it; we all have things about ourselves that we are not exactly crazy about. Whether our dissatisfaction is with our physical appearance or with our “inner self”, it can feel like the same thing at times. You might look around at other girls and say, “Ugh, why can’t I have her legs?”, or, “I wish I was her size.”, or even, “How is she so positive all the time? I wish I could be like that.” We all compare ourselves to the rest of the people in the world. To be frank, it is ridiculous, but we are all human and that’s just how we work.
We all do it! And if you think that even J. Lo doesn’t look in the mirror and sometimes think, “Man, I wish I had a smaller butt,” you’re wrong. Not that I can vouch for it, I’m not her mirror. But I can imagine that she has thought that at least once in her lifetime.
As I was thinking about how to write a post on learning to love yourself, I looked in the mirror and thought of all of the things that have bothered me about my physical appearance in the past. Most of them I am still somewhat insecure about, but I have learned to just deal with it and look past my so-called “flaws” to feel good about me.
A while ago, I decided that the things that have bothered me in the past can be turned into things that make me unique and show the rest of the world who I am. So, without further ado, I will reveal my own examination:
Me!
My nose
I have been teased about my nose my entire life. It’s probably my biggest physical insecurity. It’s not a “cute” nose and, personally, I think it is too big for my face.
BUT.. when people look at me and see my nose, they may notice that it is a symbol of my heritage. You see, my grandmother is Cherokee and Irish. As a tribe, the Cherokees have large noses and ears. While I do not have big ears, I do have a Cherokee nose. And for my lack of dark skin, eyes, and hair, my Cherokee nose is the only indicator to the rest of the world that Cher and I are practically distant cousins! (A girl can dream, right?)
My chin
Ah, my chin. The bane of my existence… I once had a so-called “friend” give me a roll of toilet paper as a birthday present so I could wipe my butt-chin. Nice, huh? But, you know what? It marks me as my father’s child the way nothing else can!
My stomach
All of you ladies with 8-pack abs or that gorgeous modelesque line down your belly, I am jealous of you. It’s not that I do not work out, but even though I work really hard to have a flat stomach, it’s just never going to happen for me. I have this weird dent between my protruding ribs and my belly button that makes it completely impossible for me to have visible core muscles. I know I’m not fat by any means, but it used to really bother me.
I can’t change the basic shape of my body, so now I just remind myself that, because of my protruding ribs, my waist is super tiny and gives me curves! There’s always a positive.
Hair
This particular topic is weird for me to talk about, but I am going to do it anyway! I have hairy arms. Seriously… like the crazy physics professor with the wild eyebrows? Imagine that on my arms.
Anyway, I always got made fun of for my arms and I remember one day in 9th grade I was more hurt than ever about it due to something an idiot boy told me in class. So my mom finally gave me permission to shave my arms! I kept thinking, “YES! This will solve all of my problems and I will be completely satisfied with myself every second of every day for the rest of my life!”
Guess what? I wasn’t. We all complain about shaving our legs but shaving my arms quickly became even more of a chore. Then, one day, I was watching Live! with Regis & Kelly and Amanda Seyfried was on. And do you know what I noticed? SHE HAS HAIRY ARMS! Suddenly, my 13-year old self, in Limited Too boxers, eating Cheerios, had an epiphany. Amanda Seyfried has hairy arms. I have hairy arms. Amanda Seyfried is a famous actress. Why the heck am I shaving my arms when Amanda Seyfried obviously still gets plenty of acting jobs with hair on her arms?
So I stopped caring about having hair on my arms. I stopped shaving, and accepted my arms as they were.
And you know what? I haven’t worried about my arms since.
Thoughts?
Now that you’ve seen how I got past my insecurities, I hope this will inspire you to do the same. At the end of the day, the things you hate about yourself can ALL be seen in a positive light – you just have to decide to look at them that way. I promise, with a little work, it’s totally possible to love yourself unconditionally, no matter what your perceived “flaws” are.
Now I want to hear from you – how do you deal with the things you don’t love about yourself? Have you ever evaluated yourself physically? How have you dealt with other people commenting or making fun of your appearance? Leave a comment and let’s talk!
lovely article. thanks for making a lot of people feel better about themselves:)
to be perfectly honest… I’m not a fan of this article. it sounds negative. too many “put downs.”
I too teach middle school and high school girls and see them fighting these issues every day. I wish everyone could not only raise their girls to be self confident, but to be more empathetic to others facing their own insecurities. A fleeting comment can stay with you for years as many of you know and proves just how brave this article is.
Same with the stomach dent! There is absolutely no way I can have a flat stomach without looking anorexic. Surprisingly, I’m ok with that. When I was in middle school it bothered me, but now, I am so comfortable with my body that I don’t let it get to me.
This is a beautiful article, so honest and sincere. And the funny thing is, I actually think you are a stunning looking girl. Crazy how critical we are of ourselves 🙂
This was truthful and inspirational. Very well written. Thank you for letting us know to love ourselves as we are.
Thanks for all of your feedback, guys! Keep it coming!
This article is really good. My personal hang-ups are my boobs, which aren’t as big as I’d like, and my eyes. One is slightly lazy, not really noticeable to others, but I focused on it. Then I realised that my eyes were passed down from my great-grandma, who was quite a cool woman, and I share them with all my dad’s side of the family. Kind of like you and your nose 🙂
Mayra (and anybody else who dislikes their big bums) you are mad for disliking your curvy rear! I have one as well and I have only had admiring comments from men. Even if you don’t get the compliments, I bet you have men ogling it behind you constantly! 🙂
And to the author, my boyfriend has a bum chin and I love it, it makes him unique and I’m sure yours does too. We should all be happy with our ‘imperfections’ because they make us different. I think a quirky or unique look is much more beautiful than having a standard face which doesn’t stand out from 1000s of other girls. Just we women can never see that and I don’t think the media showing us perfect/airbrushed women all the time helps either!
You’re a beautiful girl and your nose really isn’t that big.
I have to say that I have some insecurities too. For one thing, I hit puberty at around 8, and am now shorter and a little chubbier than most of the girls I hang out with. as a high school senior, I also look older than almost every girl in my class (around 21-23). I just turned 17 and people tend to think I’m in college. But everyone is beautiful, even with their insecurities.