How to Deal with Fashion Haters
It’s one of the more discouraging things that comes along with being a fashion trendsetter – dealing with people who just don’t get fashion.
Photo by julkastro
When I was working on the article about What To Wear To Class, I realized that some people are extremely judgmental about the topic, to the point of ridiculing others who don’t dress the way they do.
Unless you live in New York City or another fabulous area that’s full of diversity, it’s likely that you’ll encounter people that don’t understand the things you wear, or who criticize your fashion choices.
Here are some tips on how to deal with this negativity while staying fabulous and true to yourself.
Always be confident in your fashion choices.
Wear things that you love, and make sure you KNOW that you look fabulous at all times. This sets you up with a basis of confidence that will help you combat any negativity.
If you know deep down that you look great, then criticisms won’t get to you. If you’re doubting yourself on some level, any little criticism will shake you up. Don’t let that happen!
Realize that it’s not about you, it’s about them.
It sounds cliche, but it’s just true. People who hate on your outfit are just reacting out of fear, because they don’t know how to deal with people who don’t follow the crowd. Also, it’s very likely that they completely don’t understand fashion, and the idea of self-expression through clothing.
At the end of the day, though, that’s their problem, not yours! Just because one person doesn’t get your style, it doesn’t mean others won’t. And is their opinion really important anyway? I say no, and you should too.
Ignore it & forget it.
Even if it’s hard to do, don’t let any of their comments into your head, and definitely don’t let them into your memory! If you love a fabulous vintage dress for example and you feel great in it, then whatever anyone else has to say is irrelevant & not worth your attention.
Negative attention is better than no attention.
Celebrities say it all the time – any press is good press! It’s really true in this case. If you’re fabulous enough to cause a stir with someone, you can bet that you stand out in a crowd. That’s a great thing! Would you rather blend in to the background? In fashion, it’s always better to be noticed for your look than ignored completely.
Keep doing your thing.
When someone has something negative to say, don’t allow it to make you change what you’re wearing. If you like how you are, stay true to that, in fact, go even further away from their idea of how you should dress.
Choose your company carefully.
If one of your friends is constantly hating on your quirky clothing choices or making you feel bad about being yourself, I think you need to re-evaluate your friendship! Surround yourself with people who love & support you – they’ll like you for who you are, and won’t put you down.
Your thoughts?
How do you deal with people who don’t get fashion, or who are judgemental about your outfits? Let me know your tips for keeping the haters at bay in the comments.
Posted on on August 18, 2008 / Filed Under: College Life / Tags: Friends, How To, Individuality, Life, Tips
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I was one of the first, if not the first person to wear skinny jeans in my high school. People made fun of me behind my back (I heard them). A year later, most of those girls were wearing skinny jeans + their boyfriends were too. Don’t let haters get to you!
Jacinta
Your blog rocks! You’ve been selected for the 2008 Brilliante Web Blog Award. See my blog for details.
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gina
WOO ZEPHYRRR, right on :) i dont care about what people say, they usually start catching on, coincidence? i think not.
Cadi
Dang skippy. Most of the time I wear pretty sedate things, but once in a while I bust out something awesome. My college is unfortunately well loaded with princesses who live and die by the code of the Juicy velour sweatsuit, so their opinions don’t bear a lot of weight with me. I wear what I love!
Colleen
this is such a good article! i grew up in a small, suburban town where it is entirely usual for 5 girls to come to school wearing the same outfit on the same day. luckily, my friends totally respect all my fashion choices and even go a litle crazy themselves sometimes… it is nice to read something like this to help me stay positive (and i’m also luckily going to college in new york this year) =]
Kharissa
For any of you doubters out there, just realize that just having your outfit being seen on campus will decisively influence how another person dresses! Whether or not she (or he!) likes your outfit, it will still sway their fashion decisions for the better or for the worse. You are contributing your fashionology to society, and that, everyone, is wonderful. What we consider to be “in fashion” is only what’s currently popular as thought of by the general public, and what do they know anyways?!
So dress how you want to dress- comfortable, classy, trashy, whatever! As long as YOU are the one choosing the outfits, not influenced by your low self-esteem bubble, it’s OKAY.
Don’t be fooled by the haters, they’re only jealous!
S
SO true. It’s usually just jealousy, and I find the best response to be no response/looking more fabulous than them! :)
frenz
hi…
great blog
Tara
I don’t let people bother me about my fashion choices (I’m one of the few people who does not wear the hollister/a&f/ae uniform) but what am I suppose to do about the people who criticize my body?
I’m naturally really thin and only have size 32A boobs, and I know I won’t get any bigger than this. You can change your clothes if you feel the need to fit in, but what does one do about the criticism and hate they receive over something they cannot change?
Blavy Enthusiast
I think that if someone is paying enough attention to what you wear to comment, it means they’ve noticed and you’ve made an impact on someone (may it be negative or positive) based on your choice of clothes. And really, that’s what fashion is about. :)
ps. Great blog!
ashley
Let me begin by saying – I LOVE THIS SITE!!! New found gem <3. I just started college and I’m having fun experimenting with my old fashions and stuff that’s more comfy to be carrying stuff and walking around in. Finding new ways to be fierce!
Anyways, back in high school, i was ALWAYS fashionable. I had and always have my own sense of fashion, from wearing dresses when no one else would since it was way too “girly” and “uncool”, to wearing ribbons as accessories or high heels! I don’t care! I mixed and matched, wore berets ALL the time, and made myself look tomboy cool one day, while feminine chic another. Girls would always be catty and say crap like “where are YOU going all dressed up like that?” and other rude comments. I was seriously one of the only people who ever dressed up for school, and I didn’t mind, I loved standing out. A lot of the time, I felt the teachers respected me more and I would get a ton of compliments. Soon enough, those same catty chicks were trying to wear dresses, berets, high heels and everything that I started first. I wore a suspender dress one day in December and though I got looks down the hall, I didn’t care. By April, I saw three girls with look alike dresses. It’s all about confidence. Seriously, if people are going to hate, they won’t bother to understand. It would be awesome to live in NYC where anything goes and everyone’s fierce, but if you’re not there, carry the attitude as if you were! I’m in the SF bay area right outside of SF actually, but if your not in the city, it’s true, it’s hard to avoid the stares. I have learned not to care, some people just don’t care or bother to look put together and fabulous, and that’s on them. I’d rather be chic than lame in some a&e or pj’s!!
(Sorry for the rant xD!)
Brridget
I COMPLETLY ah-gree with Tara & Ashley. I have the same problems! =(
Shannon
Love the blog! I studied in Paris for a while and it was total fashion overhaul for me. When I came home I was rockin all sorts of fashions that were fine on Parisian streets or in the metro but were so out of place back at my university. I really had to decide that I was just going to be different because I loved my new style so much, and I definitely had to learn to put up with some weird looks and catty remarks and be like, since when did the fashion police relocate to nowhere, USA?
Michelle
I feel like this happens a lot in my school, but I decided to no longer care and this guide reassures that! :)
Lena
omg I totally agree!! I live in a town in the middle of nowhere in Mexico and girls just don’t wear skirts/dresses/hats! I do, because they’re so comfortable an dpoeple stare and stare. Fortunately, they’re getting the hang of my style, and I receive compliments all the time, but it was so hard at first.
Great site, by the way <3 Love it!!
Carol
I have the exact same prob as Tara and it sucks!! This blog is fab, it really is!! I always got stares whenever we had ‘tracksuit Days’ in secondary school (high school) and whenever I go into town but I have become immune to it. If those people want to remain boring and do whatever the majority is doing then fine, but they shouldn’t take it out on those who do their own thing!! Keep up the fantabbytastic work!!
Mani
To be honest, I used to NEVER get dressed up for class, and it would be kind of embarrassing because I would wear ratty sweats and a giant T-shirt. Most of the people in my school wear sorority t-shirts and PINK sweatpants paired with ugg boots. But yeah, I don’t really dig that anymore and I am DEFINITELY done with dressing down at school!
I don’t know if I’m going to pull out all the fashion stops (i’ll save those for going out :D), but I definitely want to be much more fashionable when I go to class. I think people who fashion hate are really only doing so because they’re jealous – they either can’t pull off what you’re wearing or they are afraid of something different and outside of the “norm” (exactly what this blog said.) It’s ridiculous when people give you snarky stares for what you’re wearing! GET OVER IT! This article has made me feel loads better, because if they wanna hate, let them hate! If people judge me or guys think I “dress too weird” to be approached, WHAT-EVER. I will wear what I like and you can take it or leave it!
Madeleine
This is such a good post! I wore these kind of high waisted pleated shorts to school one day, and this guy followed me around calling me the girl who wears mickey mouse shorts : ) i was a little annoyed but who really cares! plus i got a lot of compliments from girls so HA! love this site!!
Jackie
Great blog! Being true to yourself is the best advice. I’ve learned to be confident in my differences, altough it took forever lol. I’ve very petite and have a lot of defining features, not to sound rude, but I guess you could say I got good features all-around, no one seems to have a body even similar to mine! Especially not in a small town where there isn’t much diversity.^^ I use to hate it! But I’ve learned to embrace it. The point is If you naturally stand out like I do, work with it, own it. Dress the part.
nikki
I really dont get why everyone hates everyone has there own style and ppl seriously need to stop this is why so many ppl have low self esteem wear your clothes with pride and confidence because your the one wearing it. I use to get looks but it was my style unique so who clame I don’t dress nice it s your problem
rohaina
much needed. thank you for posting this! :)
Stephanie
This is a great article! To be honest, I’ve never been very interested in fashion, and my wardrobe reflects this. In high school, I was put-off by all the girls who dressed the same just to fit in–Abercrombie t-shirts, skinny jeans, etc. In my mind, I associated shopping and fashion with trying to conform with the norm, so I always said “I hate shopping; I don’t care about my clothing” (even though I don’t really enjoy the clothing I wear). Now, I’ve realized that fashion can really be an artistic expression of who you are; it doesn’t mean you’re trying to conform or show off or you’re being materialistic–as an artist, I really appreciate that.
I’m actually looking forward to shopping now!
Melinda
This article is really insightful. It is true…so many people hate on others because of what they wear.
I’m now 26. When I was in high school, I definitely had my own unique style. I’ve always been the girl who naturally stands out without trying. I believe this is partly because I’m multiracial and have a very “diverse” look. Both guys and girls didn’t understand the concept of individuality.
Anyway, I would sometimes wear my mom’s clothes from the 80’s to school. She had the coolest stuff. I would do my makeup differently too. People were constantly making fun of me. They laughed at me because of my clothes, my hair, all of it.
I agree with you guys…people who make fun of others are pathetic. Stephanie is right when she said that “fashion can really be an artistic expression of who you are”. Clothes/fashion can be so much fun when you’re being true to yourself. It is all about having fun and being artistic. Creativity is key.
I’ve never been a follower. It says something about the haters who judge people for having originality and INDIVIDUALITY.
I loved what Ashley said, too. It seems like whenever I fix myself up a little bit and actually show that I care about myself, certain people have a problem. My sister-in-law once made a similar comment about me being “dressed up” to visit the doctor. I simply took the time to shower, comb my hair, put on a nice shirt and some decent shoes…how is that “dressed up”? She also had a noticeable attitude on MY wedding day because I wore a cute pink halter dress with high heels to brunch. It is weird because she doesn’t show any interest in fashion or style at all, so why is she judging me for liking beautiful feminine clothes? I wear jeans on a daily basis (not by choice) and I wanted to be different. Some women feel insecure when they see somebody who has her own style and does her own thing. Why? Stop hating. Experiment with your own styles and see how much fun it can be, instead of trying to make others feel bad.
If I see a girl/woman who looks good and appears to be having fun, that makes me feel happy for her. If I notice somebody wearing a cute outfit and she is unabashedly unique, I will admire her. I won’t belittle her. My ex-boyfriend’s mom made fun of other women all the time. I would think, “Ugh…you are sooo bitchy”. All girls can be beautiful if they discover what works for them. We don’t all have the same style and that makes us who we are.
bjorkismyhomie
i had a smile on my face throughout this whole blog! i actually looked like i gave a damn in high school, starting junior year throughout. (my friend gave me fashion inspiration because she ALWAYS looked good) people stared and the teachers liked my style, and i even had a catty run-in with some girl when i wore a camouflage mini. her exact words? “camouflage is played out!” i paid her no attention and get walking. i was actually a bit scared of college, thinking, ‘no one else is gonna dress like me’ but those doubts are gone! i’m gonna look so good, and people are going to notice. i’m talking oversized blazers, lacy tights, doc martens, cardigans, pearls, leather, latex, the whole nine! fashion is my way to express myself, and if it worked for me in high school, no doubt it’ll work in college. :D
Melinda
Bjorkismyhomie…do it, girl!
Rock those outfits with ATTITUDE and be true to yourself. I live in a town where very few people make the effort to look good and treat others with respect. I’m typically very shy, so fashion is one way to express myself.
Unfortunately, you will always encounter haters no matter what.
Natalie
about the friends hating on you, I totally hate when people do that and have a friend who does that upon occasion. she’s just sharing her opinion though, but in a negative way. I don’t like it and I ignore it, but I don’t see it as a reason to end the friendship. We’ve known each other for years.