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Confident(ial) Confessions

78 Comments

Girl examining herself in the mirror

Let’s not sugar coat it; we all have things about ourselves that we are not exactly crazy about.  Whether our dissatisfaction is with our physical appearance or with our “inner self”, it can feel like the same thing at times. You might look around at other girls and say, “Ugh, why can’t I have her legs?”, or, “I wish I was her size.”, or even, “How is she so positive all the time? I wish I could be like that.” We all compare ourselves to the rest of the people in the world. To be frank, it is ridiculous, but we are all human and that’s just how we work.

We all do it! And if you think that even J. Lo doesn’t look in the mirror and sometimes think, “Man, I wish I had a smaller butt,” you’re wrong. Not that I can vouch for it, I’m not her mirror. But I can imagine that she has thought that at least once in her lifetime.

As I was thinking about how to write a post on learning to love yourself, I looked in the mirror and thought of all of the things that have bothered me about my physical appearance in the past. Most of them I am still somewhat insecure about, but I have learned to just deal with it and look past my so-called “flaws” to feel good about me.

A while ago, I decided that the things that have bothered me in the past can be turned into things that make me unique and show the rest of the world who I am. So, without further ado, I will reveal my own examination:

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Me!

My nose

I have been teased about my nose my entire life. It’s probably my biggest physical insecurity. It’s not a “cute” nose and, personally, I think it is too big for my face.

BUT.. when people look at me and see my nose, they may notice that it is a symbol of my heritage. You see, my grandmother is Cherokee and Irish. As a tribe, the Cherokees have large noses and ears. While I do not have big ears, I do have a Cherokee nose. And for my lack of dark skin, eyes, and hair, my Cherokee nose is the only indicator to the rest of the world that Cher and I are practically distant cousins! (A girl can dream, right?)

My chin

Ah, my chin. The bane of my existence… I once had a so-called “friend” give me a roll of toilet paper as a birthday present so I could wipe my butt-chin. Nice, huh? But, you know what? It marks me as my father’s child the way nothing else can!

My stomach

All of you ladies with 8-pack abs or that gorgeous modelesque line down your belly, I am jealous of you. It’s not that I do not work out, but even though I work really hard to have a flat stomach, it’s just never going to happen for me. I have this weird dent between my protruding ribs and my belly button that makes it completely impossible for me to have visible core muscles. I know I’m not fat by any means, but it used to really bother me.

I can’t change the basic shape of my body, so now I just remind myself that, because of my protruding ribs, my waist is super tiny and gives me curves! There’s always a positive.

Hair

This particular topic is weird for me to talk about, but I am going to do it anyway! I have hairy arms. Seriously… like the crazy physics professor with the wild eyebrows? Imagine that on my arms.

Anyway, I always got made fun of for my arms and I remember one day in 9th grade I was more hurt than ever about it due to something an idiot boy told me in class. So my mom finally gave me permission to shave my arms! I kept thinking, “YES! This will solve all of my problems and I will be completely satisfied with myself every second of every day for the rest of my life!”

Guess what? I wasn’t. We all complain about shaving our legs but shaving my arms quickly became even more of a chore. Then, one day, I was watching Live! with Regis & Kelly and Amanda Seyfried was on. And do you know what I noticed? SHE HAS HAIRY ARMS! Suddenly, my 13-year old self, in Limited Too boxers, eating Cheerios, had an epiphany. Amanda Seyfried has hairy arms. I have hairy arms. Amanda Seyfried is a famous actress. Why the heck am I shaving my arms when Amanda Seyfried obviously still gets plenty of acting jobs with hair on her arms?

So I stopped caring about having hair on my arms. I stopped shaving, and accepted my arms as they were.

And you know what? I haven’t worried about my arms since.

Thoughts?

Now that you’ve seen how I got past my insecurities, I hope this will inspire you to do the same. At the end of the day, the things you hate about yourself can ALL be seen in a positive light – you just have to decide to look at them that way. I promise, with a little work, it’s totally possible to love yourself unconditionally, no matter what your perceived “flaws” are.

Now I want to hear from you – how do you deal with the things you don’t love about yourself? Have you ever evaluated yourself physically? How have you dealt with other people commenting or making fun of your appearance? Leave a comment and let’s talk!

Posted on on November 6, 2011 / Filed Under: College Life / Tags: , , , , ,

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78 Responses to “Confident(ial) Confessions”

  1. 1
    November 6th, 2011 at 1:49 pm

    I also have a few features of mine that I hated but now I accepted them and love them.

    One of my biggest “flaws” were my small thin lips. I hated them! I felt so unnattrative because guys like girls with full or normal lips which I dint have, I always said that if I had money I would put collagen on my lips to make them fuller. But eventually I managed to get passed it by telling myself that it is okay to have small lips, sure they may not me kissable but they are special because my mom has themand she is the most beautiful person in the world to me.

    Another face feature I did not like was my almost black eyes. I saw my eyes as boring and plain and too dark no matter how many times my grandma would tell me that I had beautiful black eyes I never liked them because almost everybody I know has brown eyes! Not so original. Until one day I took a close look into my eyes and noticed my grandma was rigth, my eyes were diffrent they were darker than anyone else I knew so I decided that my eyes were unique.

    And finally the one thing about myself that I still have trouble accepting is my big butt ( it is okay to laugh about it haha), I used to hate, hate, hate my booty! It was always hard to find jeans that fit me properly and I can never wear short dresses. I always wished that they were smaller but it is no use so I try to accept it. Sometimes I still hate it and sometimes I love it because it gives mr kim kardashian curves thanks to my small waist and C-cup chest. It is a love hate relationship haha

  2. 2
    November 6th, 2011 at 1:54 pm

    Hey Sarah, I just wanted to say that this is an awesome article, sincere, honest and deserves respect! Thanks!

  3. 3
    November 6th, 2011 at 1:58 pm

    This was great<3 My biggest insecurity is either that I'm not white or that I have a big nose.

  4. 4
    November 6th, 2011 at 2:12 pm

    ^Unnecessary
    I thought this was lovely

  5. 5
    November 6th, 2011 at 2:15 pm

    I know you are right. And I really am happy that you posted this because I can see a few of my flaws in a positive light now.
    But I still am kind of chubby and I can’t imagine an excuse for that. :(
    So I guess I just have to keep losing weight until I can forget about that. :) That’s okay.

    Thank you for writing this, it is really encouraging! <3

  6. 6
    November 6th, 2011 at 2:23 pm

    Sarah, there is nothing wrong with your nose! Do you ever get confused with being Latina or part? The reason I ask is because many (most?) Latin Americans are of mestizo descent so it would be far more common to see someone with that type of nose there than in other places. And I really don’t see anything bad about your chin.

  7. 7
    November 6th, 2011 at 2:23 pm

    I love this! And I’m totally with you on the butt-chin and the weird stomach dent! I always thought I was the only person with a stomach like that- it’s nice to know we’re not alone!

    Positive posts like this are always so encouraging and wonderful.

  8. 8
    November 6th, 2011 at 2:26 pm

    This was lovely. But still, the absolute best advice I’ve ever heard for getting over insecurities about your appearance had nothing to do with accepting flaws:

    “Stop worrying about what your body looks like. Focus on all the things your body can do.”

    If someone makes fun of your nose, it’s easier to get over it when you remember you can inject recombinant DNA into a mouse embryo or write a killer short story or run a half-marathon. Or anything that you love and want to do. The way your nose, arms, and chin look have verrrry little to do with what makes you yourself.

  9. 9
    November 6th, 2011 at 2:26 pm

    This is amazing For me…
    1.My ears-I swear, I should be on the set of star wars. They are pointy and weird.

    2.My nose. My big, french nose. Runs in the family. We all have it.

    3.Hairy Arms. I know how you feel. I had a “Amanda Seyfried” moment. A couple of the girls in the popular clique were in my art class and I noticed one of them had arms like mine and another’s arms were even hairier. Made me feel good because they are pretty and popular and date numerous boys. etc.

    This really helped me out. Thanks for writing. :)

  10. 10
    November 6th, 2011 at 2:36 pm

    This is a great post and I truly appreciate your sincerity in this!
    Especially the section about hairy arms.
    THANK YOU =)

  11. 11
    November 6th, 2011 at 2:38 pm

    hey sarah, please ignore the negative comments because this was great. As I was reading, I kept saying, “omg…this girl is me!” lol. I’m obviously not you but I used to have the same insecurities and get teased about ny nose, hairy arms and yes, my stomach is flabby too. The way ive gotten over those insecurities over the years is being able to laugh at myself! Because at the end of the day it’s not a big deal! Its you! My large nose used to consume my thoughts but what for? I’m now a college senior and I get more and more confident every year and these things are just a part of who I am now, I havent thought about them in awhile. I know that was long winded (I’m also typing on my phone so there are probably errors galore) but I just wanted to say thank you for this because even though I dont need it anymore, I know a lot of girls who could use the encouragement :) (and to the poster a few comments above me, I’m a black female who can relate to this so race has nothing to do with getting past your insecurities)

  12. 12
    November 6th, 2011 at 2:47 pm

    i love this article!!! please keep more articles similar to this coming!

  13. 13
    November 6th, 2011 at 2:48 pm

    This was a great article. I hope everyone that visits the page reads it, and it encourages other girls to express their insecurities and learn to love them.

    I too have been made fun of for my nose. But and ex of mine helped me realize that it’s part of my Irish heritage.
    My legs have always bothered me. I played soccer and volleyball for years, and my father naturally has legs the size of tree trunks, so I figured there was no hope for me. I still struggle with that at times, but I’ve realized it really helps when dancing all night with my girls!

  14. 14
    November 6th, 2011 at 2:55 pm

    I thought this was very brave and that your article deserves a lot of respect.

    I hadn’t even noticed your nose or your chin until you pointed them out!

    I read somewhere that others view you as 20% more attractive than you think you are. I take that to mean that the “flaws” we perceive we have are barely noticed by others.

  15. 15
    November 6th, 2011 at 2:57 pm

    Speaking as a teacher of young girls (6th, 7th and 8th grade in particular), it is nice to see you (and this blog, by proxy), encouraging self-love and respect for the things that make you stand apart from everyone else. I feel your pain about the hair thing – my family are of Eastern European heritage. Eastern European ladies are some of the hairiest around! I have really pale skin and dark hair, which means that my “hairiness” stands out even more against my skin!! But, I have grown to love it, because it means I can follow the thick eyebrow trend without filling my brows in, and it means that the hair on my head is thicker than a lot of other girls I know!!

    Thank you again for this article. I think it’s great to teach people how to turn their “flaws” into things to be grateful for.

  16. 16
    November 6th, 2011 at 3:10 pm

    Your nose reminds me very much of a famous Mexican singer named Julieta Venegas. There’s another Mexican singer named Ely Guerra who comes from a family of beautiful women (mother and sisters) and people often ask if Ely’s nose is the result of a rhinoplasty because it looks “pointy” particularly her nostrils. Yet I’ve yet to meet a single man, including my dad, who doesn’t think Ely Guerra is HOT! Why do so many people hate their noses?

  17. 17
    November 6th, 2011 at 3:58 pm

    Hats off to you Sarah :) I think this is BY far my favorite article on CF, and I’ve been reading them for a couple of years now! I think it’s so great how you’re able to point out your ‘flaws’ and still accept them. Btw there is nothing wrong with your nose or chin – you’re a gorgeous gal!

  18. 18
    November 6th, 2011 at 4:01 pm

    Wonderful! This just made my day.

    The funniest part is that a lot of your “flaws,” are the same flaws I see in myself. So, we’re all not that different from each other…and it just goes to show that at the end of the day, we’re all human…and our imperfections are really not so imperfect after all. They make “us,” us!

  19. 19
    November 6th, 2011 at 4:03 pm

    this was a really honest and open article. it takes courage to post a picture of your self online and be true about what your insecurities are to yourself but also with strangers.
    thanks very much for being so honest :)

  20. 20
    November 6th, 2011 at 4:03 pm

    also you’re beautiful! dont forget it!

  21. 21
    November 6th, 2011 at 4:07 pm

    Hah, my gosh, I had a boy make fun of my hairy arms in grade 9 too! He kept saying I’m hairy like an animal. My skin is olive/tans like crazy but my hair is blonde so the hair is not super visible, but it’s shiny and it’s at contrast so if you look you can tell. I’ve waxed it a few times but to be honest over the years I just forgot about it. Looking at it now it’s there but oh well, I have no leg hair so that makes up for it.
    I think the thing I’ve been most insecure about is my height/build. I’m freaking tiny. I’m 5’5 but I have a small frame so I look a lot younger than I am. I’ve always wanted to be statuesque and model like but instead I’m just a mini human. On the plus side most guys are lots taller than me which I like. On the negative side high school guys still hit on me ahah.
    I’ve also had a guy say I have a ‘big’ nose but my nose looks like a plastic surgery nose and its upturned so you know, I think most people get told that at some point even if it’s not true. I think your nose fits your face and looks nice. It’s cool cause you do have Cherokee features but are white.
    I really like this post.

  22. 22
    November 6th, 2011 at 4:10 pm

    The problem of hairy arms can be easily solved with laser hair removal. It is expensive, but if it is really bothers you…

    As for nose, I can relate very well. My nose seems too snub and wide to my taste, but other people don’t notice it very much. (I know it can be solved with surgery too.) The other thing I dislike about myself is my short legs. :/

    But I realize very well that our imperfections are mostly invented by ourselves, and other people REALLY DON’T CARE THIS MUCH.

  23. 23
    November 6th, 2011 at 4:15 pm

    I’m glad you feel this way and i’m also glad by the fact that people can read this and be happy with what they are which is an awesome thing

  24. 24
    November 6th, 2011 at 4:18 pm

    Lol who are these people that are always teasing you? You seem perfectly fine, the only thing wrong is the environment you are living in.

    Maybe you should rethink the people you tend to spend time around. Sometimes people dont even notice their imperfections if someone didn’t mention it to them. Its never too late to rethink friends.

  25. 25
    November 6th, 2011 at 4:33 pm

    Thank-you so much for sharing this inspirational article! It’s so amazing that you were able to put yourself in such a vulnerable position to help us see the good in ourselves. :) You are gorgeous, and a great role model. Keep the inspiring posts coming!

  26. 26
    November 6th, 2011 at 4:35 pm

    Thanks so much for this article. You are so brave for sharing your insecurities and so exceptional for accepting and loving them. I have a big nose and a very strong, pointy chin and I try every day to see that they are a part of who I am and that I am beautiful. Thanks for helping me and tons of other girls continue to do just that.

  27. 27
    November 6th, 2011 at 4:39 pm

    I can definitely relate to the hairy arms and stomach! Even though I’ve lost about 30 lbs and workout every day, I still don’t have a flat stomach! It’s just a part of my body and I accept it! Yay to being curvy!!!

  28. 28
    November 6th, 2011 at 5:04 pm

    Yay! I just learned a couple years ago to embrace weird things about my body.
    1. My nose. It’s weird, it is big and blunt from the front, long and pointy from the side, but at certain angle photographs like there’s a ball growing right out the end of it. I definitely have my dads nose, which unfortunately just keeps getting bigger, but I have to just keep reminding myself that this is the nose I was meant to have, and I carry my big awkward nose with pride.

    2.My chin. it’s delicate, it’s strong, it’s Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde!

    3. My skin. Until last year I had beautiful flawless skin, not a mark or a blemish, but then shortly after I turned 22 I developed adult acne, and now look like a 16 year old child, with pizza face syndrome, and horrible horrible acne scars. You think the acne of teenage awkwardness is difficult to live with? Try being 24 and living with something the rest of your peers got over, together, 7 years.

    4. Hair. I have hair everywhere, upper lip, arms, lower abdomen (happy trails are certainly not happy!) I have thick eyebrows, i even have hair on my feet!! Something which 2 exes pointed out to me one time and made me feel horrible about. Another ex pointed out my hairy arms when I was 13 and I began shaving them, until my arms broke out in a rash and i never shaved them since (besides, it’s super uncomfortable to have stubble on your arms! Yeesh!) My eyebrows were always an issue until my mom helped me wax them, then they were too small for my face for 10 years, now I compromised and just covered them with bangs.

    5. My legs. Are hot! from the mid thigh down. I can not seem to get rid of the saddlebags and upper inner thigh jiggle, no matter what! But from the mid thigh down they are by far my best asset. I guess we just can’t have it all.

  29. 29
    November 6th, 2011 at 5:16 pm

    OMG this is just really AMAZING!! i think it is great that you, as a really pretty girl, show that everyone has problems and things you don´t like about yourself:)
    as a blogger myself, i often recognize that especially younger girls compare themselves to everybody… and they are never happy about the way they look :/

  30. 30
    November 6th, 2011 at 5:23 pm

    I’m with you on the hairy arms…once, while I was getting a manicure, the lady asked me if I wanted to wax my arms! Okay, so this was in China where such matters are more bluntly talked about, and the people providing your services are very pushy about getting you to do more, but still!

    Even my boyfriend has less hair on his arms. But you know what? He doesn’t care, and I don’t care either! Think of it this way, it keeps us warmer in the winter. ;)

  31. 31
    November 6th, 2011 at 5:34 pm

    lovely article. thanks for making a lot of people feel better about themselves:)

  32. 32
    November 6th, 2011 at 5:35 pm

    to be perfectly honest… I’m not a fan of this article. it sounds negative. too many “put downs.”

  33. 33
    November 6th, 2011 at 5:54 pm

    I too teach middle school and high school girls and see them fighting these issues every day. I wish everyone could not only raise their girls to be self confident, but to be more empathetic to others facing their own insecurities. A fleeting comment can stay with you for years as many of you know and proves just how brave this article is.

  34. 34
    November 6th, 2011 at 6:00 pm

    Same with the stomach dent! There is absolutely no way I can have a flat stomach without looking anorexic. Surprisingly, I’m ok with that. When I was in middle school it bothered me, but now, I am so comfortable with my body that I don’t let it get to me.

  35. 35
    November 6th, 2011 at 6:01 pm

    This is a beautiful article, so honest and sincere. And the funny thing is, I actually think you are a stunning looking girl. Crazy how critical we are of ourselves :)

  36. 36
    November 6th, 2011 at 6:20 pm

    This is an AMAZING article! So brave and so sincere! We all have our flaws and insecurities but the truth is – who would we be without them? I’ll never forget (pardon the cheesy moment) the Glee episode in which Kurt reminds Rachel of how Barbra Streisand also has the “Jewish nose,” and she’s still an amazing, beautiful singer. Society puts wayyy too much pressure on “being perfect.” I’d rather perfect my personality, my kindness, and my services towards community rather than perfecting my physical appearance any day.
    Congrats on the article again :)

    Wishing you all the best all the way from Brazil,
    Jessica

  37. 37
    November 6th, 2011 at 6:43 pm

    I love this! I used to OBSESS over my insecurities. When I was in high school, I’d scan a classroom and pick out other girls’ features that I wanted. Seriously. I’d pick out the chin I wanted, the girl with the perfect hair, the one with the cute button nose. I’d think, “If only I looked like that, I would be happy, have more friends, the guys would flock me, etc.”

    Thank goodness I no longer do that! It’s exhausting. We truly are our own worst critics.

  38. 38
    November 6th, 2011 at 7:02 pm

    This was truthful and inspirational. Very well written. Thank you for letting us know to love ourselves as we are.

  39. 39
    November 6th, 2011 at 7:18 pm

    What a great article! Sometimes we forget that everyone has insecurities and remembering that makes it seem like not such a big deal.
    Personally I’ve always been self conscious about being very tall, 5’11″, and only in the last 5 years have I come to terms with it and accepted it. Getting into fashion really helped with that. Also, I think your nose is fine and I didn’t even notice you had a cleft chin until you said so :).

  40. 40
    November 6th, 2011 at 7:42 pm

    Aww, I totally feel you girl. We all have our insecurities – mine used to be my height (i’m 5’1 – I used to feel ‘too short” until one of my favorite bloggers wrote that her height is 4’11. And she’s gorgeous, wears whatever she wants, and has modeled numerous times), looking younger than my age (i’m 23 but people think i’m 16..I used to be very self conscious about this, but realized that i’ll be glad I look younger than my age 10 years down the line), my hair (i’ve always had really frizzy/curly hair. During high school/middle school it was unmanageable but later in life I discovered some awesome hair products and have never looked back since.)

    To be honest, I still have those days sometimes when I don’t feel “pretty”, I think we all do. Just need to remember that no one’s perfect, and that you’re fine just the way you are :)

  41. 41
    November 6th, 2011 at 8:11 pm

    LOL I was reminded of my old roommate while reading this. She had the same issues with her stomach dent and would ask me several times per day if it looked okay. I always thought she looked great!

    I think my number-one hang-up would have to be that I have such pale skin. I’m Italian, and both of my sisters are so beautiful and dark, but I’m pale white with blonde hair and blue eyes. I wish I looked more ethnic! Ethnic girls are beautiful. I have to tan constantly to get my skin to half the darkness I want, and even then I still don’t look like I’m related. I would give anything to look more Italian!

  42. 42
    November 6th, 2011 at 8:34 pm

    I love this post, especially since the girls with the most makeup and clothes are often the most insecure. Work with what you got, the people who matter won’t mind what you look like, and the people who mind what you look like won’t matter!

  43. 43
    November 6th, 2011 at 9:01 pm

    Thanks for all of your feedback, guys! Keep it coming!

  44. 44
    November 6th, 2011 at 9:04 pm

    haha.. okay, i’m really wondering what this “stomach dent” thing is that everyone seems to have. Love this article. I’m 23, and just within that last year have started to embrace my “flaws”. The biggest one probably is my chest; about 5 years ago I was certain that as soon as I could afford it I’d get a boob job. Sooo glad I couldn’t afford it, because now my small boobs are one of my favorite body parts! Seriously, they’ll never sag and I can wear low cut tops without looking trashy, and if I ever need a boost, I can throw on my miraculous bra from VS :)

  45. 45
    November 6th, 2011 at 9:17 pm

    Wow’ let’s say that I have hairy arms too and I HATE IT. Nevertheless, I’m going to bleach them and stop complaining : ). My nose is horrible too and not counting I have blackheads and I need to squeeze them out every week. I use to have a healthy perfect skin and then my hormones play me a dirty trick and now I have acne on my face. (I went to the dermatologist and he told me this). What I’m doing is drinking lots of water and eating healthy because I notice that if I stop eating trash food my face gets better. This post encouraged me! THANK YOU!

  46. 46
    November 6th, 2011 at 9:18 pm

    I thought this was a much needed article so many times girls don’t think they can “pull off” an outfit because of their body type.. and to read this article covering confidence is very inspiring… also to emmy i don’t think you need an excuse to be the size you are just because you might not have a reason for a trait doesn’t mean anything . Your body is special because it’s yours without you are a size0 or a size20 you can be beautiful no matter what size becdause true beauty transcencds size :)

  47. 47
    November 6th, 2011 at 9:25 pm

    I’m really insecure about my nose, too. It’s not even that it’s shaped oddly, it’s just too big for my face. My mom has the same nose — it must be the Jewish heritage, haha. It’s nice to hear stories from other girls who have the same insecurities with their physical appearance. In the scheme of things, a nose is just a nose.

  48. 48
    November 6th, 2011 at 9:35 pm

    thank you for this post, this is a conversation that I just had with some friends of mines. Honestly my biggest insecurity has to be;
    Acne scars- i suffered with acne for a long time and as result as you can imagine leaves lots of dark spots. I guess I have come over this by saying to myself that God did not want to make 100% perfect, so he blessed with this to keep me humble. (lol)
    Slight chipped tooth- I had this for a while but was always covered by a porcelain i got done years ago, unfortunately it came off now I can not smile like use to. I guess i view this as something cool and sets me apart.

  49. 49
    November 6th, 2011 at 9:38 pm

    The way I deal with my insecurities about my physical appearance is I think about the things I like about myself. For instance, I really like my eyes; they’re big and a really nice gray/blue color. I personally think my eyes attract more attention than my noes does.

  50. 50
    November 6th, 2011 at 10:44 pm

    so i saw your picture and i was like, wow. she is so beautiful! and then i read all your things and had no idea what you were talking about.
    it is so crazy how we nitpick our imperfections and others don’t notice them.
    i have friends like that, that hate various aspects of themselves: nose, earlobes, hair, etc.
    for some reason I’ve never had a problem with this. i see pictures of myself or look in the mirror and as far as all my features i think I’m just beautiful.
    my problem would be a horrible mass of ache that for some reason has been with me since elementary school and being overweight. both of which caused me to be the subject of great ridicule in middle and high school.
    something i do/have done is listed all the parts of myself i do like and focus on those. it is pretty easy since i just don’t like my body size and ache. i think about how beautiful my eyes, hair, fingernails, etc are and think how i can magnify that beauty.
    another thing i’ve worked hard on is loving myself anyways. being overweight, it is really easy to hate on yourself. but something i strive to do is not allow myself to think negative thoughts about me. if I’m upset about being fat then i will only be focused on that, instead of being focused on the people around me. i just accept my body and my skin for the way it is and try to forget myself and focus my energies on making other people happy. i think service is a great way to learn to love yourself.
    i also don’t let myself call myself fat. i think it is a charged word full of negative connotations. my rule about my body is: if what i have to say is unkind, i just won’t dwell on it or give it any time.
    it is hard to ignore when people laugh at you and make fun of you for the way you look. because it is literally YOU they are demeaning. but it is so important to remember while they are hating on you that it is what is inside that matters. how you respond to being bullied about your looks and how you treat other people is what really matters. so i just do my best to remember that and take what people say with a grain of salt. it isn’t worth it to get upset.

  51. 51
    November 6th, 2011 at 11:50 pm

    I once rationalized that if I changed a feature that makes me distinctive, I would feel less…myself. Like, I have a large nose. But I guess I like the feeling of being able to claim that flaw as distinctively mine- I’d rather make it part of my identity than make it more aesthetically pleasing. Obviously there are still things about myself that bother me, but for the most part, I think being interesting is so much better than being flawless :)

  52. 52
    November 6th, 2011 at 11:52 pm

    Ha, I make it sound like I actually have myself together. Believe me, I can’t stand my curly hair or my dry, acne-prone skin, or my dark body hair. But I guess getting over the nose is a start!

  53. 53
    November 6th, 2011 at 11:56 pm

    thank you so much for writing this! very inspiring. I remember when I was little, like 7 or 8 years old, I hated a lot of things about myself, because i dont have the average features of the people from my country (i’m latin american) and i hated being “different”. I have blue eyes, dark curly hair, very white skin and freckles. I hated the color of my eyes, the curls in my hair and the freckles. I wanted to be like everyone else. As I grew up I started to appreciate being different and actually liked it. Now i’d say my eyes, which i hated so much, are my best physical feature, i get a lot of compliments on them :) The only thing i havent been able to get over yet is my hair. It’s astonishing how stupid comments can really hurt you when you are a kid. There was this girl who would always say mean things about my hair and call me silly names related to it. Now that I am older I understand how childish all that stuff was but my inner child hasnt really got over it yet.
    any ways, thank you for writing this! :)

  54. 54
    November 7th, 2011 at 12:22 am

    I love this post!

    I have so many issues with my physical appearance – my body-fat distribution is horrible, I’m completely covered in freckles (not the cute ones either), I have an asymetrical face (one eyebrow significantly higher than the other), my lips resemble those of a fish and I have tiny eyes, not to mention the impossible-to-remove acne.

    The thing is though, despite all this and how insecure it makes me feel I’m learning to stop having a private pity party about it and accept that some things can’t be changed, and the things that can be changed just take some effort on my part.

    A person’s worth is not in their physical appearance, something which I think Western society seems to constantly forget.

    Anyway, thankyou for this article – also, I think you’re really pretty! :)

  55. 55
    November 7th, 2011 at 1:31 am

    omg! i didnt notice your chin or nose at all, you are totally gorgeous. this was super inspiring(:

  56. 56
    November 7th, 2011 at 1:40 am

    And i’m no different! I have many things i dislike about myself as well! I like you, am native american and you can always tell by my “moose” nose and my very square face… and even though i have struggled with it my whole life being the only exotic looking person in the room, i now am SO proud!! I have such a rich heritage and im glad that my beautiful face shows every bit of it :) i just wish it didn’ t take so long for me to relize how special it is.

  57. 57
    November 7th, 2011 at 6:35 am

    I’m so glad u did this!

  58. 58
    November 7th, 2011 at 7:37 am

    Loved this post, inspiring :)

    I’m white with blonde frizzy hair. A result of my south American heritage- though Its given me lots of teasing, its also been a great talking point and something that makes me stand out from others- something I’m only beginning to embrace at 23 :)
    I always say i have an issue with my nose, apparently its a greek nose like mona lisa has- though I’m beginning to realise I’m the one who notices the most flaws in myself.
    Then again acne, its something we can work on by going to see a dermatologist, my housemate always says it will give us younger skin for longer maybe thats a plus side?

  59. 59
    November 7th, 2011 at 10:51 am

    This article is really good. My personal hang-ups are my boobs, which aren’t as big as I’d like, and my eyes. One is slightly lazy, not really noticeable to others, but I focused on it. Then I realised that my eyes were passed down from my great-grandma, who was quite a cool woman, and I share them with all my dad’s side of the family. Kind of like you and your nose :)

    Mayra (and anybody else who dislikes their big bums) you are mad for disliking your curvy rear! I have one as well and I have only had admiring comments from men. Even if you don’t get the compliments, I bet you have men ogling it behind you constantly! :)

    And to the author, my boyfriend has a bum chin and I love it, it makes him unique and I’m sure yours does too. We should all be happy with our ‘imperfections’ because they make us different. I think a quirky or unique look is much more beautiful than having a standard face which doesn’t stand out from 1000s of other girls. Just we women can never see that and I don’t think the media showing us perfect/airbrushed women all the time helps either!

  60. 60
    November 7th, 2011 at 11:03 am

    thanks for such a great post! as people have said before, i didn’t notice the your “flaws” until you mentioned them.

    i always wished i was taller, skinnier & paler, but since none of that’s going to happen, i like to think about all the things my body can do for me – it’s an instant pick me up!

    & speaking about flaws, my sister did a paper on beauty for school & found that most of the celebrities in asia tend to look very similar, while western ones (actresses, models, etc) are very different. aside from being more homogenous societies, it’s no real surprise since asia is the home of plastic surgery.

    who wants to blend in with the crowd anyway? we should embrace our flaws since they are what makes us unique!

  61. 61
    November 7th, 2011 at 11:34 am

    I love this :-)

    Congrats on the courage you have to put yourself out there and you are beautiful. I started to think off my nose as a family thing…I don’t look like my mom at all, but the nose is there, so it makes me happy :-)

  62. 62
    November 7th, 2011 at 1:01 pm

    Sarah, I wanna give you a big ol’ hug right now!!! Good for you! You are so brave for doing this post! I’m grateful I’m not alone in learning (even a bit late in life) how to accept oneself FULLY and COMPLETELY. It’s a tedious process, but well worth it. One thing every woman should know is how beautiful she is, no matter what flaws she sees in herself.

    One thing not mentioned in the article: the flaws you see in yourself more than likely aren’t even noticed by others! To the outsider, your chin/nose/etc are just YOU. They don’t know you wish it wasn’t…so don’t ever voice complaints (down-talk) yourself ;) And when others do notice them, OWN IT!! It’s yours. Period.

    I may have crooked teeth (and I’ll get braces…eventually…after college) but I have a really bright and vibrant smile and I smile a LOT! So ladies, own what you’re given.

    Sarah, you’re amazeballs girl :)

  63. 63
    November 7th, 2011 at 1:33 pm

    this article is amazing.
    and among most of things that i used to dislike and learnt to accept them, the one i even now i still kind of resent, is that i have a little too much moles in my face.
    having a small black dots on my face was never good when i’m being picked on, but now i look past it honestly, and no one really seems to care for them.

    again, i love this article <3

  64. 64
    November 7th, 2011 at 2:54 pm

    I don’t know why,but I don’t seem to notice people “flaws”. I may think of someone as pretty or not pretty but when it comes to something in particular I don’t notice it,for example I had to scroll up to see your nose,than I had to scroll up to see your chin. And honestly,I don’t see any of the things you said. I’m a random person on the internet I don’t have a reason to lie…So trust me when I say that you are very pretty. :)

  65. 65
    November 7th, 2011 at 3:15 pm

    Sarah, you are really pretty and there is definitely nothing wrong with your nose! I loved your article, it is really important that from time to time somebody tells it like it is. we are all obsessing over our looks, when really there is not a lot that we can do about them… I think it’s really brave of you to point out what you think are your flaws and tell us how you learned to deal with them. again: great article!
    and by the way: I have got hairy arms as well… doesn’t everybody? I think so, but they’re just more obvious when they are dark (as are mine ;)

  66. 66
    November 7th, 2011 at 5:25 pm

    This is an AMAZING article! Seriously it’s the best one that has been on CF!

    My flaws are…

    - My crooked teeth which I haven’t enough money to fix (Braces seem to be more expensive here in England!)
    - My stupid dorky glasses that I’ve had since I was 13 and my lack of the ability to pass a Contact Lense test
    - My big bulbous nose that sticks out like a mile long. Think a young Scarlett Johansson. I have Greek, Jewish, French and Italian roots, so I suppose this is like my heritage!
    - Hairy arms (too!) I HATED shaving so every couple of months I bleach my arm hair now and it’s much nicer
    - My small lips. They are quite plump, but they aren’t very wide. I suppose they’re quite pouty lol
    - My long torso and arms. I do have long legs but I would love arms like Beyonce! I do have a big butt as well, but I have a 25″ waist and a 36″ bum and boobs so it does balance out!

    We really are our own worst critic! Also my Mum always says to me “When you want to improve yourself, make sure you are doing it because YOU feel it will make you happier and don’t just change to conform to society’s view of beauty.”

    I used to hate my down turned eyes until I realised that Marylin Monroe and Brittany Spears had them too!

    Also, I thought you were very pretty and had no idea you disliked those things about yourself! Xxxxx

  67. 67
    November 7th, 2011 at 8:06 pm

    I love this post. Yesterday, I had a bad hair day and I hated my broad forehead, round face and flat asian nose because they were too prominent with my hair tucked away. I have days where I feel just plain ugly, and I hate it. I’m especially insecure about my height. (I’m only 5’0!! :\) But what really helps is to find someone beautiful with the same flaws as you. For me, it’s a whole range of people – Selena Gomez, whom I’ve adored since her Wizards of Waverly Place days, has a round face, just like mine. And did you know Judy Garland was only 4’11? I love Judy Garland!! If people as beautiful as Selena Gomez and Judy Garland can be successful and respected with those flaws, I can embrace my own. xx

  68. 68
    November 7th, 2011 at 10:08 pm

    That was so brave and endearing! By the way, you are too adorable!

  69. 69
    November 8th, 2011 at 12:16 am

    All my life I have struggled with my body image. I wish I could be ore secure with myself! maybe if I get it all out, I can be more confident!

    My skin:
    From the ages of 12- 16 I struggled with acne and man was that a blow to my self esteem. Even though my acne is gone now, I still obsess about my skin and freak out when I get even one zit. I also have under eye circles…yay college.

    My hair:
    Its always doing the wrong thing. It used to be too poofy and thick, then I lost much of it due to stress and anemia, and now it is too thin! I reassure myself with the fact that it is hair and it will grow back and that there are so many ways to style it.

    My boobs:
    Too small… I always wished I could have a curvy figure like many of my friends. Over the years I have become more comfortable with my thinner frame and I am no longer as self concious.

    But hey, clearly I’m not alone! If college has taught me anything, its that there are girls of all shapes, sizes, and confidence levels; and everyone has their own merit. Thanks for posting this!

  70. 70
    November 8th, 2011 at 8:49 am

    While this isn’t completely relevant I think the author and I have the similar stomach issues. My ribs seem to protrude out as well…like my ribcage just seems big, like it makes me a bit wider. So I have a weird dent too. It’s kind of hard to explain and of course no one else would probably notice but anyway I recommend doing 10 minute pilates for abs, you can find several different videos on youtube. they are great for everyone really. They really really really workout your abs. I don’t know if you’ve ever tried doing pilates before but if not definitely try. While I do still have a big rib cage, it has helped to make my stomach appear more “even” and not so dented.

  71. 71
    November 8th, 2011 at 9:29 am

    this was a great article! It made me re-think how my day was going to be today :) I think its important for girls to know that they are beauiful, flaws and all. And that they aworth so much more than all of the lies thy hea from the world about who they are supposed to be! Dear Sarah, might I say that you are awesome, by the way. Fantastic article!

  72. 72
    November 8th, 2011 at 10:14 am

    Wow, I’m pretty sure we share almost the exact same dislikes about our bodies. My stomache has the exact same line and I HATED it for years because I thought it was so weird compared to all of my other bikini-loving friends. Now, I have almost a corsetted type figure because of my years and years of trying to correct this. I’ve just gotten used to it and your article really helps me to see that people even as beautiful as yourself (a JLo ) have things they don’t like about themselves. I have a slightly bigger nose too and my grandmother is part cherokee, but I had no idea that my nose could be from her side! That was great information to have and it does make me feel a bit closer to my family.

  73. 73
    November 8th, 2011 at 5:25 pm

    Hi Sarah. I’m Viki from Macedonia (Europe) and I love your website, I’m reading it more than 2 years and this article tempt me to write to you.
    Even if I’m slim I don’t like parts of my body. But somehow I look beautiful when I’m feeling good.
    I must say I was trying to imagine you many times but I never thought that you are so beautiful.
    When someone is glowing from inside, then every fault (if I may say so) of the body became cute and lovely. YOU ARE GORGEOUS

  74. 74
    November 9th, 2011 at 2:21 pm

    I agree with these other ladies, you are a beautiful and courageous woman! Thank you for being an inspiration and don’t stop showing your positive attitude. True beauty comes from within and honey, I think you’re beautiful both inside and out :)

  75. 75
    November 10th, 2011 at 7:39 pm

    Hey Girl,

    First of all your nose is NOT big–its a very avg. size! and I have no clue what you are talking about when you wrote about your chin…….

    this was a brave article! good for you :)

    i saw that there are like 74 comments obviously there are some issues in our society, especially because 74 boys would never comment on something like this (hell, something like this would never appear on a site geared towards men…hmph.)

  76. 76
    November 11th, 2011 at 7:42 pm

    hunny, you are so beautiful so shush. i wish i looked as warm and welcoming as you do! dont even think for one second that you are anything less than amazing [:

  77. 77
    October 16th, 2012 at 3:32 am

    Ladies,
    PLEASE do not shave or wax your arms. Most men like some peachfuzz, the other choice is a creepy hairless mannequin look which is very odd.

  78. 78
    June 19th, 2013 at 11:21 am

    You’re a beautiful girl and your nose really isn’t that big.

    I have to say that I have some insecurities too. For one thing, I hit puberty at around 8, and am now shorter and a little chubbier than most of the girls I hang out with. as a high school senior, I also look older than almost every girl in my class (around 21-23). I just turned 17 and people tend to think I’m in college. But everyone is beautiful, even with their insecurities.

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